Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about blondes

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The model on shootings. Fotograf:
- And now, the darling, represent deep thoughtfulness on a face. I will help you: how many will be 8 to increase on 5?

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The blonde of the podruge:
-brags Bought new phone. Such cool, small, accurate, red color, slayder.
- And in it function vibro is?
-Well of course, it female!

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- Enough! Enough!!! - the blonde in a minibus shouted, having forgotten the word - STOP …

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The surgeon performs operation on the blonde's brain, and with surprise notes that there is one crinkle. He wants to consider it closer, takes out and... at the blonde ears fall off.

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Two blondes behind rags - shopping, type go shopping, do... Well, so came into one, and ask the seller to help prikid to pick up. Seller asks:
-What size at you?...
-Growth - 170, weight - the 56, 90-60-90, third size of a breast, the natural blonde... With
vtoraya Yulka pushes the girlfriend in bok:
-, regain consciousness! You not in ICQ stir!

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– What worst Of all in sex With the blonde?
-Inconvenient seats.

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Than it is possible to occupy the blonde for a couple of hours? It is necessary to give it a sheet of paper at which on both parties it is written "Overturn".

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- Than the blonde differs from a brick?
- The Brick after you lay it, does not keep ringing to you on 10 times a day!

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– Than the blonde differs from the Mosquito?
-will cease to suck the Mosquito if to slap him...

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– Than the blonde differs from the cart in a supermarket?
-U Of the cart is own opinion.

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– Than the clever blonde differs from the yeti? someone saw
-Of the Yeti...

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– Than the toilet bowl differs from the blonde?
-it does not go for You everywhere after You used it.

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- Than the Californian cows differ from the Californian blondes?
- The Californian cows sometimes look back and look, who there behind...

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– Why on the FIFA World Cup on tribunes forbade to do waves?
-Because already three blondes drowned.

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The chief approaches the secretary-blonde and speaks:
-I, of course, close eyes that you write love letters on a workplace, but I ask you, stop carrying them to me for the signature!

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School. The schoolgirl blonde is asked uchitel:
-Why a cow by four boobs?
-Because milk is fresher, sterilized, pasteurized and condensed.

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Examination in driving school. Instructor and three blondinki.
-What color white "Tavriya"?
-Perhaps the black? You that will tell
-A? - addressing to drugoy.
-Perhaps the red?
-Well, and you as think? - he speaks tretyey.
-Probably, white?
-is correct! Following question: how many doors at five-door "Tavriya"?
-Perhaps three? - tells pervaya.
-Perhaps two? - answers vtoraya.
- And what the third will tell?
-Probably, white?

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Examination in driving. The blonde sits down in mashinu.
-I Thank you, you did not hand over, - speaks ekzamenator.
-As I could not hand over even if did not start?
-you sat down on back sitting!

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There are on the mountain a brunette, the brown-haired woman and the blonde. The mountain speaks im:
-Tell me about what you now think but if tell lies, a subsoil of the earth will disperse under you and you will fall in propast.
bryunetka: - I think that I the most beautiful!...
I failed under zemlyu.
shatenka: - I think that I the cleverest!...
I failed under zemlyu.
blondinka: - I think........
I failed under the earth.

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The English lord moves from one country house on druguyu.
angliysky the lord moves from one country house to another. The long journey,
skuchnaya to talk unless with the driver, there is nobody... Listen to
-, John...
-I Listen to you, the sir!
-John, and what horse is pleasant to you more: gray, bay or white v
yablokakh?...
-You see sir... When I harness the gray - it is pleasant to me gray when zapryagayu
gneduyu - it is pleasant to me bay and if you order to harness white in apples, chto
zh, I am happy also with sulfur in apples...
-Thanks, Dzhon.
-have nothing, the sir... Passes minutes fifteen... Boringly... Listen to
-, John...
-I Listen to you, the sir! What wine to you is more than
-A to taste: white, red or pink?
-You see sir... When I drink white wine - I like white wine when pyyu
krasnoye - it is pleasant red... And if who from friends treats pink - I prekrasno
zakhmeleyu and from pink...
-Thanks, Dzhon.
-have nothing, the sir. . Passes minutes fifteen... Listen to
-, John...
-I Listen to you, the sir!
-A what woman is pleasant to you: blonde, brunette or brown-haired woman?.
-You see sir...
-Thanks, Dzhon.
-have nothing, the sir...

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- Why jokes about blondes such short?
-Because brunettes badly remember them!

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The Armenian radio sprashivayut:
-Who composes jokes about blondes? Brunette's
-in the long lonely evenings!

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Without five ten evenings. The blonde comes into the bar and sits down at a rack near the brunette who watches TV.

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Two talk priyatelya:
-To whom to you more convenient - with blondes or brunettes?
-If does not pull to talk, with blondes.

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- The blonde, the brunette and red study in the 3rd class. Who has more than breast?
-U of the blonde. To it 18.

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The blonde, the brunette and red study in the 3rd class. Who has more than breast?
-U of the blonde. To it 18.

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The blonde and the brunette sit in kafe.
blondinka and the brunette sit in cafe. At the blonde the mobile phone calls, but ona
na it does not answer. The brunette speaks:
-That you do not answer a call?
-It not to me, after all nobody knows that I here! - the blonde answered.

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The blonde - bryunetke:
-As with private life? Do not ask
-. It begins on P and comes to an end on Ts.
-U you there was a prince?

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The blonde goes down the street to a car, turns on radio and slyshit:
"you listen to radio "Europe plus"! "
" My God, and from where all of them know?!" - the blonde thought...

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The blonde asks at married podrugi-bryunetki:
- And that you constantly call the husband "A cat scientific?" It that, actually at you such clever?
-Yes where there. Simply he has constantly a bit on the side, and thus still fairy tales tells.

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The blonde asks married Podrugu-bryunetku.
-Pochemu you call the husband "a cat scientific? ".
ON that, really such clever and erudite?
No, simply he constantly has a bit on the side, and thus still tells fairy tales.

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To the blonde in driving school set question :
-As the engine works?
-Is possible by the own words?
-Of course?
-B - in - in - in-.

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Blondes - silly women, brunettes - ill-natured persons, red - whores... And normal baby
v this world is?...
-Is. Look in a mirror, darling!

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- Why blondes are buried in triangular coffins?
- When they lay down, feet are moved apart.

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Marriage announcement... "The bandy-legged bald brunette, the bore and the loser, will meet with terrible, as a crocodile, the colored blonde. And I, the interesting young man, will meet the beautiful girl, and without your foolish newspaper".

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The brunette undresses at herself in kvartire.
snyala a dress, a brassiere, shorts, began to look at herself in a mirror, turned the right side, left, stroked herself on hips, raised a breast...
povorachivaetsya and with horror sees that behind the opened window the cradle, an in it the plasterer hangs. .
OT surprises it is lost and became stupid looks on it shtukatura.
shtukatur: - Well, sho stared? Never saw the plasterer?

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The brunette - blondinkam:
-Little girls, let's go for soccer - "Locomotive" - "Zenith"!
-Is not present! Cannot play the engine with the camera!

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The brunette opens firm. In its first working day the man comes into office. "Client!" - it is pleased the brunette thinks and, representing activity and terrible employment, is enough a receiver and pretentiously in it speaks:
-Is not present, today it will not turn out in any way... it is a lot of orders... can be, in a month... well, I will put you on a waiting list...
polozhiv a tube, it turns to vkhodyashchemu:
-Sorry, too many clients, than I can be useful?
muzhchina otvechayet:
-I from the telephone company, came to connect phone.

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The brunette rasskazyvayet:
- At me the beginnings raise a wisdom tooth. And then I was recoloured in the blonde, and tooth ceased to grow further. Perhaps he guesses something?