Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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Kreb, Goil, Draco and all - all-all went to London on excursion. Got drunk there in stuff. Draco in shop that still vodka sent calls. Gets to Hogvarts. The call is taken by Dumbledore. Malfoy by a drunk voice trebuyet:
-Vodki (ik). send.
dambldor shouts in трубку:
- Yes you that! Yes where you call! Yes you know to whom talk, a puppy! I am principal!
drako for a moment comes in sebya:
-A you know with whom speak? No! - shouts in a tube direktor.
-Vot and nicely.-silently whispers Draco and even more silently puts a tube...

*****

Krebb - Let's play Goylu:
-in goroda
-As?
-Well, I call the city, then you call the city on the last bukvu.
-Davay.
-Moskva.
-Amsterdam.
-Moskva.
-Amsterdam...

*****

Krebb approaches Draco and asks:
-Guess, how many at me teeth?
-Well if at the normal person is them 32, at you probably 16?
-is correct, and in what hand?

*****

- Where Nevill's toad got to? - puzzly Harry Potter muttered, looking under beds in a bedroom. "Well, you still Rhone would remember a rat!" - the Curl thought, is happy cleaning a beak...

*****

Lyutsius Malfoy bought "Lightnings" for all team players syna.
match Griffindor - Slytherin. The score 160-0, Slytherin conducts. But griffindorets do not despair: after all there is only the third minute of a match...

*****

Harry Potter's purchase. Live or dead. To address Sami-Znayete-Kuda, to ask Sami-Znayete-Kogo.

*****

7 course. Morning. Griffindor. Bedroom of boys. The alarm clock calls. Prosypayutsya pupils. Garri:
-Patsany, can study we will go?
NEVIL:
- Not, better dospim
simus:
-A can drink beer?
DIN:
A can, vodka?
RON:
-Rebyat, let's a coin throw. If an eagle falls, beer we will drink, if a reshka - vodka. If an edge falls - we will sleep and if in air hangs, then to study we will go...

*****

Malfoy and Ron are in hospital. Both fell down from a sweeper. Them sprashivayut:
-As you got here?
RON:
-Yes here improved "Comet". Departed too quickly, did not notice a column and vpisalsya.
malfoy:
-I Fly on "Lightning". Suddenly I look, Weasley on some ancient sweeper overtakes me! Well, I thought that did not fly up yet and wanted to get down from a sweeper...

*****

Harry in bolnitse:
-Madam Pomfri, well as I lies?
-of Anything... tomorrow we will write out. Now I will call your dean of Makgonagall.
-Is not present, Madam Pomfri, it is not necessary it bespokoit.
-As it is not necessary? And who will take away a body?

*****

Harry Potter over Moscow on a sweeper flies. Houses around big, beautiful, and one such lodge small, and by sight the strange. Well it there also flew out of curiosity. Looks, and there the mummy lies! Well took out a magic wand and tells a spell: - "Recover, a mummy"! And mummy and speaks:
-Zdavstvuyta, old man! Also give me your metelochka!
C of that time the mausoleum is called "Lenina-Potter". By the way, and attendance rose.

*****

Lily speaks to James Potter, coming back from Dursley:
-Not only that you fell asleep when Petunia sang the opera aria, so you still woke up when it took top "SI" and told: "Let in a dog".

*****

Lily Potter talks to the girlfriend: Imagine
-, this morning I broke a plate. I am afraid that it is a bad sign and it will damage to my future rebenku.
-What you superstitious, Lily! When my mother was pregnant me, she broke a gramophone record, and you see that to me happened nothing, happened nothing, happened nothing...

*****

- Lokons! The fly sat down on you. Oh, Lokons, sat down on you one more fly! No, I want to tell nothing, but flies seldom are mistaken...

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Lutsius and Draco. - Fathers, and fathers, why we came to 3 o'clock in the morning here, after all the shop is already closed?
Listen.... SHUT UP AND SAW RESHOTKA!!!!!!!

*****

It is better to die standing, than to live on a lap, - Potter told, dying lying.

*****

Lupine - to Snape: Severus, what you do tonight?
He think the bad. And if to think. How to you this idea?

*****

Lupine utrom:
-Hochetsya something light, warm...
BLEK, lifting from a floor thin butylku:
-Pivo you will be?

*****

Lyutsy Malfoy complains of life of Sneypu:
-Something Narcissa absolutely to me grew cold, such impression that sex in general does not interest her any more...
-Well problems: add it to tea of this zelya.
chtoby did not guess anything, Lyutsy adds a potion in chaynik.
sidyat, drink tea, peacefully talk. Suddenly at Narcissa eyes are rounded, with pridykhaniyem:
-I WANT the MAN!!!
lyutsy reaches for it, suddenly fades, sits down on a place, at it are rounded glaza:
-I TOO!!!

*****

Lyutsy: "A narcissus and do not shout you so! That asked, brought! I did not know that ladies' fingers are grapes!"

*****

Lyutsius and Drako.
-of Fathers, and fathers, why we came to 3 o'clock in the morning here, after all the shop is already closed?! Listen to
-, shut up and drank a lattice!!!

*****

- Lyutsius. in what occasion mourning? The Mother-in-law umerla.
-I Sympathize with
-, and what at it was?
-Yes so, nonsense one: table, sideboard...

*****

Lyutsius Malfoy comes home, and his wife coquets with Maknayrom.
-darling it is possible you on two words?
-pointed, road. What did you want to tell?
Awad of Kedavr!

*****

Lyutsius after a meeting at Voldemort comes back home, Narcissa from a grief breaks about it plates,
rugayetsya, etc., eventually that it did not climb, lyuts lalezat under krovat:
-A well get out, гад
- No!
Get out I skzat!
-Ne-A
-A well quickly get out that sprawled?!
-Ya the owner in the house where I want there and I lie

*****

At Pomfri's mm - to professor of Makgonagall:
-Minnie, whether you want to look at the real fight of two predators? Then tonight come to a hospital wing...
-A that will be for representation? Yes I to Severus of a bloodsucker will put
-.

*****

- Why is the magical world hidden from ordinary people?
- Crazy need to be isolated from society.

*****

Wake up-wake up by madam Pomfri of Germione:
-Hermione. Auuuuuu... wake up. Get up!
-That happened? - Hermione sleepy golosom.
-answers I brought sleeping pill to you.

*****

- Madam Pomfri, you have a heartburn medicine?
-Is not present, I will have a child through nedelyu.
-But heartburn now!
-Is means that it proceeded week.

*****

Mcgonagall:
-Who will go to answer the first, will receive one point above.
C of a place breaks Ron:
-Professor, put to me three and I leave!

*****

Makgonagall:
-Hermione, distribute notebooks and do not forget two to put in prikup...

*****

Makgonagall:
-Children are flowers of life...
SNEYP:
-... on graves of their teachers.

*****

Malfoy complains the Flounce to de Mort: "I will strangle this Makneyr! It already subjected my life of danger of death twice!" "Well you, Lyutsius - consoles him the Dark Lord, - give it one more chance!"

*****

Malfoy thought. It was pleasant to it. And he thought once again!

*****

Malfoy sells gazety:
-Sensation! Sensation! Hundred people are deceived! The passerby became interested, bought the newspaper. Malfoy:
-Sensation! Sensation! Hundred one persons will deceive!

*****

Malfoy Sr. fills in the questionnaire in Ministerstve:
-your marital status?
-Disgusting!

*****

The boy comes back from a passport office. The first time received pasport.
rugayetsya:
-Freaks, morons, I speak to them - give me a cover with Harry Potter, and oni
mne - "at us only such", - well on a her me this feathery Pokemon …

*****

- Mothers, and mothers, it is possible I will put on a brassiere?
-Is impossible!
-of Mothers, but me after all already 15 let.
-Leave alone Draco - eternally you with the foolish nonsenses!

*****

- Mother and why all a horse tease me? I do not know
-, Germionochka, you only strongly do not smile, and that you will scratch new furniture...

*****

Mother and why all a horse tease me? - I do not know, Germionochka, you only strongly do not smile, and that you will scratch new furniture...

*****

- Mother, I do not love the little brother! - Tells Persi.
-you eat that give!