Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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- Mother, now to me is sixteen years! Now I can be painted, wear a short skirt and to meet boys? You Know
-, Draco, can it is not necessary?

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The MFA of Russia sent to the British Embassy a note of protest in communication so
smertyyu to Dobi in the 7th series of Harry Potter.

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Minerva Mcgonagall gave objyavleniye:
"I Will sell kittens. Cheap. 10 galleons bucket"

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Ms. Weasley asks Rona:
-Well, how are you at school?
-Yes to the vrena of anything, - are answered by Ron. - Yesterday I only answered what question Sneypa.
-A the question was?
-"Who did not perform homework?"

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- Mrs. Weasley, your son eats the newspaper! Start up
-, it yesterday's.

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Mrs. Weasley often by mistake accepted a soothing potion instead of the contraceptive. Now it has 7 children - and it does not excite her at all.

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- Mr. Krebb. You know that you I treat kindly, not that this Potter. But your tricks went beyond all reasonable limits - these manure bombs, indecent inscriptions in toilets, and, the main thing, stickings to girls. And zrnat dirty hints on what. Mr. Kreb

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- Mr. Holmes how you think, what such dangerous is stored in the cellar of school of Hogvarst?
-Uranium ore or, on a slang, "Philosophers' stone".
-is correct but how you guessed?
-is elementary, professor Mcgonagall: The hatch to the cellar prot

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Mr. Potter, tell, what will be if to mix a root asfodelya with wormwood tincture?
molchaniye.
drako (freely): Professor that you want from him?! One crinkle - and that on a forehead.

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Translated my your name of Litvinov loved proklyatiye:
chtob!

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- It is possible to have a shower bath for prevention of flu cold water and to fly on a sweeper in pants at minus 15C?
-Is not necessary. Better flu, than schizophrenia!

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Mollie - Arturu:
-Well, how are you at work? Do not ask
-I. Fadzh wants that we worked for three. It is good still that us five!

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- Mollie dear! Today we in the ministry will have a booze and I will come the drunk.
-Not drunk, and drunk!
-Everything which drank! The
-which drank Not everything-everything, and simply drank!!!

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Mollie complains muzhu:
-Artur, it is necessary to do something with your this work in the Ministry: If I in due time bring payment for our house - right there are employees from department of offenses are interested, from where I took such sum...

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Mollie bought a new cloak (!) and turns before zerkalom:
-I after all look good? I even looked younger! Tell, Artur, on how many I look?
artur mrachno:
-$20 an hour.

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Mollie in household shop chooses a hanger for clothes: - And is cheaper at you is? - Nails in the next department!

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- Young man, and what is your name? In the
Evening - "boor" and "villain", in the mornings - "sun" and "darling", in the afternoon - professor Severus Snape. Very pleasantly.

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The monologue of Sneypa:
nedavno welded universal solvent...
teper I think in what to store it.

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- When we only got married, you took yourself small slices, and to me left the biggest. You do not love me any more? - Hermione of the muzha.
- The Nonsense expensive asks. Simply you began to prepare better.

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We sang the song horror film about Severus today. "snow was white, pure and fluffy"

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On the bank of the lake Harry Potter in a condition of a strong hangover walks and sees on the coast a tree... Whether
-I Can? Would I like? Whether shit I? And the devil, remembered - the MAGNOLIA!

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On zelyevareniye.
-Potter do not turn, and I to you and the second foot will nail up that.

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On a cemetery crowd of griffindorets dance, clap, rejoice. Dumbledore approaches to mogilshchikam.
-That here occurs? Yes here the dean of one "encore" the tenth we bury
-.

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On a cemetery the crowd of young griffindorets exults, claps, laughs,
krichit. Two tortured, tired the grave-digger dig in a coffin. At them sprashivayut:
-That occurs here? Yes, one dean "encore" the fifth time we bury
-

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On the Hogvartsa:
-beach Dear students, do not swim away for anchor buoys, already two sharks choked.

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At James's wedding and Lili:
prazdnik, fun, all at a table, was drunk on a glass, and let's shout "Bitterly! Bitterly!!! "
-da, strychnine to you not sugar! - Severus from kitchen grinned.

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In a warehouse of movies. Conversation of two mice eating the tape "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets":
-Well and how, movie good?
-Is not present, in book option was better.

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At a lesson Hermione lifts up a hand and shouts: I know
-Ya, I know!
makgonagal to it speaks:
-Miss Granger, you asked this question!

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At a lesson Hermione writes Mcgonagall a note: "I love you". Mcgonagall answers with a note: "I hate children!" Hermione again sends a note: "I guarantee! Children will not be!"

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At a zelvareniye lesson Snape obyesnyat the pupil that the real wizard has to byt
ne to the fastidious. Dips a finger in pus of a bubontyor and oblizyvayet.
-Who will be able to repeat?
-Ya! - pulls a hand of Potter.
vykhodit on a class, dips a finger and licks it. Snape udivlyonno:
-It is necessary! But the real wizard has to be and observant. I dipped one finger,
A licked another!

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At Zelyevareniya:
-Weasley's lesson how to prepare the Lulling potion?
Nadeau to mix … Not correctly! Once again I ask how to prepare a lulling to slip potion? It
is necessary to pound … Not truly! I ask the last time how to prepare the Lulling potion?
Da are not known by me, professor Snape!
Correctly, Weasley.

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At Zelyevareniya's lesson Hogvarts's pupils passed a potion of Desires. Harry, having studied instructions, under a severe look of Snape approaches a huge copper, a small spoon scoops scarlet liquid, drinks it and comes back to a place. After all pupils Snape approaches a copper. Bends, but loses balance and falls in the boiling water. "It is necessary, and the potion and the truth works!", - whispers to Harry Ron, leaving an office.

*****

For the morning Harry wakes up to beds with awful head bolyyu:
-About My God, Black lord returned! What
-Black Lord? Yesterday Ron had a party! - Discontentedly muttered Hedwig.

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At examination in Potions Potter does not know the answer to one question .
poteryavshy patience Snape there begins orat:
-Yes after all you a donkey!
obrashchayas to assistentu:
-Bring me a hay armful!
garri, having leaned back on stule:
- And me a coffee cup, please.

*****

Nagayna giving the poison Voldemort continued hoped that once poison will work. The snake was the secret agent of Dumbledore.

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It is advisable already most to earn money, - Harry Potter thought and ornamented the magic wand black- And-white strips.

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Narcissa comes back home and asks small Drako:
-Well, Draco how you with the father behaved here while I was not?
DRAKO:
-Is very good, mother. Every morning the father took me with himself on the lake, we swam away by the boat on the middle and then I by swimming reached to berega.
nartsissa:
-Oh, Merlin! Same big lake!? Yes do not endure
DRAKO:
-, mother. I reached well. It was difficult to get out only every time of a bag...

*****

Narcissa Malfoy speaks muzhu:
-to Darling you know, I was so tired of a social life... Every day same. Receptions, banquets, ceremonies. Anything new! I want something unusual, unknown, improbable that else never in life did. Prompt!
-Zaprosto
-? Floors wash
-, the silly woman!

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Narcissa Malfoy asks at syna:
-Draco, how many in your class of people?
-C Mcgonagall - thirty odin.
-Means, without Mcgonagall thirty?
-Is not present, without Mcgonagall in a class will be nobody!!!