Jokes about the characters

Read funny Jokes about Harry Potter

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Dumbledore closed all entrances in "Hogvarts" that the Flounce de Mort could not enter there. But the Flounce de Mort entered through an exit...

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Dumbledore hung up on doors of the office: "Thanks to Voldemort for our happy childhood!" Fadzh, having seen it, vozmushchayetsya:
-you went crazy, the director! When you were a child, Voldemort was not born yet!
-Here for it to it and thanks!

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Dumbledore employs as very pretty, very young secretary...
-Well, you simply fine fellow!
BLIN, made only two mistakes!
NU, give, now write the second word...

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Dumbledore: - High wire act! On the arena the favourite of public Harry Potter, Malchik-Kotory-Vyzhil, battles to Voldemort! To the arena there are Harry and Voldi. Battle. Harry cruel fight is won by Voldika. That, having writhed, creeps away. Harry blood-stained, exhausted falls prone. Audience: - Hurrah! Malchik-Snova-Vyzhil! Harry: - My God, when I will die...

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Dumbledore brought together all uchiteley:
-Friends, a graduation party soon, and we should think up something special. I ask you, suggest the ideas. But consider that expenses have to be minimum, about this holiday subsequently, has to tell all to Hogvarts, and it has to give joy to pupils. After a short pause, Makgonagall:
-I have an idea, Albus.
-Proshu.
-Let professor Snape, will poison with one of the poisonous potions. It will manage only in the cost of ingredients, Hogvarts will tell all about it, and as for pleasure of pupils, it will be boundless!

*****

Two worlds - two childhood: they have Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione, at nas
khryundel, Shaggy and Masyanya.

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The girl the first-year student approaches professor of Makgonagal.
-Know, I so like kittens to part...
makgonagal in affection: Ah, kittens as it is lovely...
-Aga... to part... Two kittens on an acid bucket...

*****

Business was in China during the holiday. There is Malfoy since a holiday and on a meeting to it drakon.
-Fortunately, - Malfoy.
-By a lunch thought, - the dragon thought.

*****

Ginny tells to Ronu:
-Snimi my dress... Take off my brassiere.... Remove moi
tpusiki..... More never dare to dress my things!

*****

You noticed Germi's dialogue and RONA
-? That noticed
-?
-Is not present, well you noticed? That noticed
-? You noticed
-? (In a hysterics) Yes that noticed
-?
-That I test yours terpeniye.
-(quietly) Is not present, not zametil.
-That did not notice?

*****

Malfoy was not reached by the letter from Hogvarts. He re-read once again, but him again did not reach.

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- You are happy with the bees? - Dumbledore asks Hagrida.
-Very much! However, they do not give honey yet, but already izzhalit all slizerinets, with Snape in addition.

*****

- The doctor, you know, I have memory blackouts...
-Oh, Harry! And it is frequent to you happens?
-That happens?
-Well, failures in pamyati.
-What memory blackouts?

*****

Long the Dark Lord of Lyutsius Malfoy to the knees tried to force. Did not leave. Then he spat and left him to lie on a floor.

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House Reddlov. Night. A flounce de Mort, Pettigryu.
volan Mort:
-You already milked Nagayna?
pettigryu:
-Yes, milord.

*****

The pet has to be silent, quiet and not bring efforts to the owner. Here, for example, effigy of an owl:

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Of Garri:
-I you now on fingers will explain everything to Draco. You see average?

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Draco complains Nartsisse:
- The Father today two times beat me!
-For what?
- The First time when I showed it the sheet with bad notes, and the second - when he learned that it is its old sheet...

*****

Draco complains Sneypu:
-U us in Slytherin there are blue! You took
-C of that?
Again the cosmetics bag was filched!

*****

Draco, boiling from rage, shows on the Slizerinsky sign: I Explain
-for the stupid: cobras are cobras, but not worms!!!

*****

prischel
i would tell Draco to Lucia krokha:
-Now the woman horosho.
-Yes, the sonny, not bad.

*****

Draco at madam of Pomfri.
-Mister Malfoy, you the simulator and the shirker! After all, be we now not at school, you to me with such trifle would not come!
-pointed. I on the house would call you.

*****

Draco Malfoy in the maglovsky bus, to it obrashchayutsya:
-Forgive, the young man, you get off at the next stop?
-NET.
- Then let's change...
drako (yawning): - And what at you is?

*****

Draco molitsya:
-My God! I ask death from you! Do not refuse to me, My God, after all not for myself I ask...

*****

Drako:
-Well, Potter? Filled up examinations?
-Is not present, filled up professor!

*****

Drako:
-Potter, do not dare to put out the tongue at me! And that zaboleesh
-Than?
-Concussion and fracture of a jaw!!!

*****

Draco comes to shop before day of all of Vlyublyonnykh.
-What beautiful cards, what on them is written?
-"My one and only". Give
-, please, ten two.

*****

Draco and Pensi go by the Hogvartsky Express. The train comes nearer to the tunnel. Pens (coquettishly):
-of Draco, I warn if you try to kiss me when it is dark, I will cry!
DRAKO:
-Ya too!

*****

Harry Potter goes to Hogvarts-express, looks out of the window, admires landscapes, suddenly sees, the train turns from rails reaches to an edge of the wood and again comes around on rails. In confusion it comes to the driver and asks:
-That it was?
-Yes the person on rails stoyal.
-Well so should be pressed!
-Well so at the wood also caught up!

*****

I go to the subway today and I see on a door advertizing of cartridges and disks with the second movie about GP.
Bce as it is necessary: "The prime minister of Video submits the Movie... since April 21st on VHS and DVD..." well and so forth.
dalee goes the prevention that license cartridges only in the blue box or something something like that, inside surely a sticker with GP...
Ho the most tremendous inscription was below. Here it: "Remember
! Buying piracy cartridges, you support Volandemort!"
VOT in what business, appears... Draw conclusions...

*****

Go by the bus of Krebb and Goil and still Malfoy. Kreeb speaks:
-Draco go well I want to shit!
-Well posr in a window leaf!
SRET is shorter. The bus stops, and there Harry with Ron sit. Ron speaks:
-Harry look as it is spat!!! Harry's
A speaks:
-NOT, well saw his face???????"

*****

Hermione and Ron go to a compartment one. Ron wakes up at night and sees: Hermione opened naked lies. It covers it. In an hour everything repeats. In half an hour too most. The train comes on station and Hermione gives Rhone 4 galleona.
-But I 3 times covered you, and here 4 galleons! On the fourth buy
-cabbage, a goat!

*****

Dumbledore, Lyutsius Malfoy and Snape go by the train. Got to talking. Damb speaks:
-Predstavlyaete, as what important person I feel when in Hogvartsa me pupils call "mister director" .
lyutsius:
-A me in the ministry, remembering my noble origin call "your grace" .
DAMBI:
-Severus, and you than can brag?
When pupils run into me at night, they speak: "My God, it again you!"

*****

If in time to interrupt a hedgehog transfiguration in a chair - Your companion waits for a pleasant surprise!

*****

If to splash bleach in a magic crystal of the prof. Trelawney - its predictions will become more favorable for you!

*****

- There are two things which I consider the most important, - Snape klassu.
-told the first the First is a purity. All of you walked over a rug before a door?
-Yes, of course! - chorus all cried klass.
-Well. And the second is a truthfulness. Befor

*****

There are two things which I consider the most important, - Snape told the first class. - The first is a purity. All of you walked over a rug before a door? - Yes, of course! - chorus all class cried. - Well. And the second is a truthfulness. Before a door there is no rug!

*****

There are two ways to tempt Snape. But anybody does not know them.

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The stomach at Zhivoglotik is no more than thimble, and both will shit, and will not believe...