Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Medvedev

Jokes about Medvedev

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Today the new era in jokes will begin. For now we check archives: what is at us about Dmitry Anatolyevich today? About "preved, the medical Veda" - will not be. Here some other, in a chronological order.

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Now we have a president Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin and we try to double Vvp.
govoryat, what Dmitry Anatolyevich of Medvedev.
znachit will be the following president, we will start doubling LADIES? Interesting opportunities open...

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Sensation! On Medvedev the Twitter started whistling.

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Future President Medvedev in an office sits. Telephone zvonok:
on takes the call, listens, puts down a reciever, then dials number and speaks:
-Hallo, mother! You can congratulate me! I won presidential elections!
MAMA radostno:
-Oh, honestly?
- Mother, well though you would not pin up me!

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The crow on a tree sits, by runs lisa.
-Hey, a crow, you for Medvedev will vote?
vopona molchit.
- The Crow, you that, became deaf? You for Medvedev will vote?
vopona molchit.
-You, deaf silly woman! I ask the last time: you for Medvedev will vote?
VOPONA:
-Well, net.
syp dropped out, the fox picked up it and skpylas.
vopona sits on a tree and passuzhdayet:
-Well, I would tell yes, and what would change?

*****

Putin and Medvedev at theater sit next. The lady sits down by them and is servile tak:
-Oy, Dmitry Anatolyevich, and you have a thread on a sleeve! Oh, and on it too … do not touch
PUTIN:
-. These are the necessary threads.

*****

Sit at a table Medvedev, Putin and Sobyanin.
medvedev drink expensive cognac: In 40 years Russia will become the great country with the richest in the world narodom.
sobyanin: Eh, it is a pity that us by then any more not budet.
putin: It "is not a pity", and "therefore"...

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Symbols (new version): The
TSAR-bell which does not call, the Tsar Cannon which bore trelyat also the tsar-dwarf who does not reign.

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Putin will be the following president of Russia. But the surname at it will be Medvedev.
-It that, for conspiracy?
- It - for the Constitution!

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Listening to Medvedev you understand that doubling of GDP (V. V. Putin) in Russia already took place.

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- Heard, Putin called the successor?
-Labrador Horses?
- Is not present, but too someone from brothers of its smaller.

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- You heard, what Putin declared "The person of year" according to the TIME magazine? Russians rejoice …
- Let rejoice … Bin Laden too him was... Hitler with Stalin, by the way, too...

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- Surname, ridiculous at you, Peredrishchenko!
- Why it? Yes to see
- someone from your ancestors diarrhea stradal.
- Then at you even more ridiculously a surname, Medvedev!
-I why?
- is obvious, one of your great-great-grandmothers in the wo

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Watched recently memorable performance of Medvedev at congress of Edinoy
rossii... I cannot understand
nikak why athletes for dogovornyak are disqualified, and presidents are not present?!

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- You watched the New Year's address of Medvedev?
- Is not present. And in whom he addressed?

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At first it seemed that Putin and Medvedev is a tandem, and now is clear that it is an engine which goes around.

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I will urgently buy the subscription to the hall of a bar. I will cheap sell a kimono and mountain skiing.

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There are two GAI officers on the route situated near Moscow. Suddenly towards white "Seagull". Speed is under 200. Waves one stick, "The seagull braked, all tinted at night. The GAI officer joyfully thinks: Op-pa! Shcha I will make a fast buck. In "A seagull driver's glass was slightly opened, closed back and she uyekhala.
gaishnik pale green to the workmate comes back. That asks:
-Who there in the car?!
pervy zaikayas:
- There it, Terminator... and vodily at it Medvedev!

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Strange inclination at the present power to such animal as a bear. ER symbol - a bear, the youth movement acting for Putin - "bear", and here also Putin's receiver... - Medvedev …. It not zoophilia, incidentally?

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Dmitry Medvedev's son came to MSU. Competition was serious - 23 higher education institutions on 1 place.

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And so, it appears for what Dmitry Medvedev renamed militia into police! He wanted to win him the announced competition for "the most idiotic administrative decision"!.

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Mishka will be a mascot of the Olympic Games of 2014, seemingly, again.

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- Why on television channels of the Russian Federation did not show multfilm
"Vovochk far away long ago"?
- Because present there fraza; "Two of a chest - identical s
litsa", can be misinterpreted.

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Now at each Russian official in an office two portraits of the president will hang: Medvedev and Putin.... so just in case.

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GOZNAKA printing house secured the order on production of voting papers for the next elections, where only one position with the tick printed in the typographical way opposite nee:
na elections to State Dumu
1. "United Russia" of
NA of the president of Rossii
1. Medvedev

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Whether joke, whether medical Vedism...
medvedev at high school on September 1 with pervoklashkami.
- When I went to the first class, I did not even think that I will become Dmitry Medvedev!

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- Something I za@batsya the clock to put when over the country I am wound! Think up che a thread, Dim? Everything I will make
-, the Second World War!
ezhegodnoye message of the Russian President Dmitry Medvedev: "It is necessary to consider possibi

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Ivanov would have much more chances when its surname would be Medvedev.

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We have Bears not only on streets and in Parliament now. Now they also our presidents will be.

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At Putin sprashivayut:
-during parade in Moscow lit up and nearly the armored personnel carrier which passed by a tribune, your with Medvedev, exploded. Whether the Minister of Defence Serdyukov will be punished for it? Yes! I will force it to re-read all jokes on 1jj.ru!

*****

At Putin sprashivayut:
- The President Medvedev assures that is the first person in the state. But some somnevayutsya.
putin:
-In vain doubt it. Dmitry Anatolyevich - the first person. I resolved it.

*****

- Why you have sad such face, how at Medvedev at a ceremony of inauguration of Putin?

*****

At televizora.
"I as any normal person like to watch football because mne
kazhetsya that it is interesting" - Dmitry noted Anatolyevich.
-Hear, Lyus, chyo our president speaks: - You or abnormal, or ne
chelovek, choose!

*****

The surprised Sarkozy, asks Medvedeva:
-Dmitry, and you are sure, what the phrase "Okhuyevshy Bastard" from the draft agreement on the world, is really translated as "The president of sovereign Georgia"? And, by the way, that such "Not ebyot?"

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Decree of the president of Russia Putin V. V.: to appoint the Deputy Prime Minister Medvedev the chairman of the commission on fight against bird flu in this connection to appropriate an extraordinary surname - Kuritsyn.

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Medvedev died and got on a next world. At gate of paradise zaderzhivayut:
-you Want to pass it - tell the sacred word! Vladimir Vladimirovich allowed
medvedev:
-!

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- The damage from the Russian officials, according to Medvedev's statement, made 25
mlrd.
-Damage from an earthquake and a tsunami in Japan made 30 billion
- Well and who else, will claim, what our economies are incomparable?

*****

On February 2, America, - the Groundhog Day, a groundhog gets out of a mink and looks for svoyu
ten …
2 of March, the Russian answer, - Put Medved, Medvedev gets out of a mink i
ne looks for the shady place - it has Putin's shadow now.

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Fragment from the book about the Russian folklore of 2308: "About three centuries ago in the Russian mythology the image of a bear changes. Instead of the strong, powerful, independent owner of the wood the sickly trusovaty dwarf starts appearing in fairy tales. The reason of such change remains to the unknown"...

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