Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Medvedev

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In the gloomy Sunday morning at the beginning of October the Kremlin system administrator with gloomy myslyami:
"And why I did not establish then to Medvedev on his iPad automatic change of time with winter for the summer wakes up? Today excess hour all country would fall down..."

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It is good that elections secret - Medvedev thought, and voted for the CPRF, partly because of unclear offense, and, above all because of inexplicably woken up conscience.

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That for Medvedev badminton - that for the others table tennis...

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To win elections, D. A. Medvedev dispatched VKontakte soobshcheniye:
"I participate in competition, your voice, and it not spam is really necessary!".

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To derive pleasure from the New Year's address prezidenta
medvedeva, it is necessary to switch off a sound on TV, to turn on any good music and to close eyes.

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That uyest opposition, Putin with Medvedev decided to organize and head March milliardov.
v the city hall of Moscow the application for 20 participants from the list Forbes is already submitted. Special the guest - Roman Abramovich. Protection from the population will be carried out by a division of the FSO and air defense.

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It now so warm and fuzzy Medvedev... We argue, after March 2 it oburet!

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- I dream to see Putin and Medvedev behind a lattice!
- do not worry, you will see, in chambers the TV set too happens...

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- I will give this Vladimiru.
obama in reply with satisfaction nodded, without knowing that it is the universal answer of the president Medvedev to any question or a request...

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70-e years. The father teaches the poor student - Vovochku:
-Study well, play sports and when you grow up, you too will have beautiful mistresses gymnasts, and you will drive about too over the country on the latest model of Zhiguli!

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And I trust that Putin fights against corruption in the top echelons of power...
Ha trainings. In judo or badminton. Puts these companions corrupt officials in rivals and let's go to win against them.

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- But if the presidential elections, Putin and Medvedev will both be run, what will be your choice?
- Select ax and pitchfork.

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And let's present to Putin a lighter! He does not smoke
-!
-A let's present it a jacket in pineapples, And you do not smoke so green trousers I
-!

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And fine Putin thought up! Sent to head opposition Kudrina, Sobchak and Nemtsova!
posle of that "march of millions" quickly turned into parade from 30 gays....

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- And you in the museum have skis which Putin rode?
- Yes, here!
-A why one?
- Not one, but uniform!

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- And now listen to the New Year's address of the president to the people!
prezident:
-That's all, children!

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- And the truth, what Putin speaks fluent German?
- Of course is free. Who will forbid it?

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And why Putin And Medvedev never shown on TV together?
- You Would not believe - is one person.

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And nearby another objyavleniye:
"Attention! At the exclusive prices! Only at us novinki:
-Election pledges of Medvedev narodu;
-Election pledges of Medvedev of PUTINU;
-Election pledges of Medvedev (in Goblin's translation)".

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- And today at us on transfer "Who wants to become a millionaire?" Vladimir Putin. And I set question :
"When Ukraine pays for gas?" There are 4 options otveta:
"And" - in the first quarter, "B" - in the second, "In" - in the third, "" - in the fourth

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- Why submachine gunners at a search of Media-Most were in masks?
- Is very simple. Vladimir Vladimirovich himself in the plane, itself in the submarine, itself in a search...

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Americans us often ask "Hou from Mr. Putin?", on what my
ne without pride of it otvechayem:
"Mr. Putin from notes hu from! Yo Clinton from hu from!"

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Armenian radio sprashivayut:
-Why to Vladimir Putin Duma majority?
armyanskoye of radio otvechayet:
-to legalize occupation by the constitution …

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The Armenian radio was asked: Whether "Will hang up in the office of premieres of Putin
portret president Medvedev? "
otvet: "The prime minister Putin will hang up in the office a portrait prezidenta
medvedeva removed in the office against a portrait of the prime minister of Putina.
na that portrait the prime minister Putin sitting in the kabinete
na a background of a portrait of the president Medvedev will be represented. And on that portrait there will be izobrazhen
premyer Putin sitting in the office against a portrait prezidenta
medvedeva. In turn on that portrait it will be represented... Forgive,
nasha transfer comes to an end and we cannot give you the full answer."

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B. Obama made an unexpected step towads to V. Putinu.
v.Putin did not become puzzled and threw B. Obama through a hip.

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- The grandmother, tell the fairy tale about Kashcheya.
- There is no more Kashchey, instead of it Putyashka Bessmertny and the company now: the trained Medvedka, the wood goblin Chubaysishche, the werewolf Gryzlo, Valcke the fright and other evil spirit

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- Why the brainless part of the population (and them, judging by polls, there is more than a half of the country) supports Putina.
-Because she got used to live in the g*ena - and at Putin just instead of the head #опа.

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Berezovsky comes to Putin during a lunch and speaks:
-Something recently Chubais is not pleasant to me!
- is not pleasant - do not eat!

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Tickets on the latest Russian and general istorii
- * ----
bilet N1
1. The leading and directing role of the International Currency fonda
(ICF) in Russian politike.
2. August, 1998, crisis as zapadlo Russian ekonomiki
i popadalovo foreign investorov.
- * ----
bilet N2
1. V. S. Chernomyrdin as spontaneous spokesman nevrazumitelnykh
narodnykh expectations. Role bayana.
2. Than miners on "Gorbaty Bridge" during a strike knocked?
DO of whom they reached? And what?
- * ----
bilet N3
1. A historical meeting at the highest levels between B. Clinton and M.O.Levinski.
podpisaniye cigar soglasheniya.
2. Reasons of resignation of the Prosecutor General of the Russian Federation Yu.Skuratov. Nazovite
obeikh.
- * ----
bilet N4
1. Care of the state of pensioners. To show on the example of M. S. Gorbachev,
b.N.Eltsina.
2. Deputy V. Shandybin as spokesman of hopes and expectations deputata
v.shandybina. The deputy I. Hakamada as an otvergatel of hopes and chayaniy
deputata V. Shandybina.
- * ----
bilet N5
1. Comparative characteristic of V. Chernomyrdin, S. Kiriyenko,
e.Primakova, S. Stepashin and V. Putin." Pyatipremyershchina".
2. Heroic work of the Russian people on illumination of buildings and sooruzheniy
(Moscow). MKAD and its role in an environment stolitsy.
- * ----
bilet N6
1. Ruthless fight against a smell of sweat and dandruff on televidenii.
kak you understand the slogan "Dryness Is "Olveys" plus a Tampaksization vsey
strany"? The tampax comes to the deepest ugolki.
2. The defeat reasons Willa-Baggio in fat war with Willa-Riboy.
- * ----
bilet N7
1. Economic recovery of the Chinese production in Rossii.
pokazat on the example of the odezhdy.
2. A labor feat of the Turkish people on construction trade kompleksa
na Manezhnaya Square (Moscow) .
- * ----
bilet N8.
1. Rushimy friendship of the brotherly Russian and Ukrainian people. Pokazat
na gas pipeline example. Merge of potato systems of Belarus and Rossii:
za and against. Education uniform potato and constitutional polya.
2. War in Kosovo as manifestation of freedom-loving spirit amerikanskogo
naroda. How Serbians brought down the invisible plane? How they learned about it?
- * ----
bilet N9
1. Economic breakthrough of Russia in 1999-2000. To show na
primere grants. Introduction of the 1000-ruble note as new vitok
ekonomicheskoy stabilnosti.
2." Song-2000". Performance of Strelki group. The speech A. Vovk (theses) .
vozniknoveniye DETSLA on Rusi.
- * ----
bilet N10
1. Chechen war. Approximate completion dates. Neobkhodimost
investitsy in economy of the opponent. In what difference kontrterroristicheskoy
operatsii in comparison with restoration of the constitutional law and order?
2. Eradication of free training and free medical care v
rossii. Universal transition to enrichment of doctors and uchiteley.
zazhitochnye teachers middling persons and doctors-kulaki.
- * ----
bilet N11
1. Persecutions on tennis players in Russia at the turn of the century. A course on dzyudo.
v.v.putin as the vigorous dzyudolyubivy head of type new tipa.
(In the answer to consider that Putin - the incumbent president.)
2. The Ministry of Emergency Situations - the last hope and a support of the Russian state. The village Shoygu
kak the carrier red pukhovika.
- * ----
bilet N12
1. A. B. Chubais's plan for a deelektrifikation of Russia (DEELRO) .
sut rolling blackouts. Call chilling fakty.
2. Overthrow from an orbit of Mir station. The Russian program osvoyeniya
kosmicheskogo spaces heavy ballistic raketami.
- * ----
bilet N13
1. Freedom-loving policy of V. Gusinsky. Role and V.'s place of Gusinskogo
v to a prison cell of Butyrskaya tyurmy.
2. An image of B. Berezovsky as excess oligarch in Russian politike.
pokazat on the example of the same V. Gusinskogo.
- * ----
bilet N14
1. A. Gore's election as the U.S. President in 2000. J. Bush's election presidentom
sscha in 2000. A. Gore's election as the U.S. President in 2000. Election of J. Busha
prezidentom the USA in 2000. Who became U.S. President and why?
2. Gimnolyubivy lyrics of S. Mikhalkov.

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Moreover, the press was reached by hearings that the Russian President Vladimir of Putin
loyalno treats musicians.

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Big reception in the Kremlin. Putin addresses to English poslu:
-to me it seemed that you are anxious and upset with something...
POSOL:
-would not like to speak to me about it, but at me hours were gone. It is the queen's gift, and they are very dear me .
putin:
- And with whom you communicated on my reception? Whom would you suspect?
POSOL:
-Here with this mister with a white chrysanthemum in a petlichka...
PUTIN:
-Is the head of mine administratsii.
posol:
-Oh, I bring the deepest izvineniya.
putin abandons the ambassador and after a while comes back to it, poigryvy gold chasami:
-It is your hours? Zabirayte.
posol:
- And what the head of your administration told?
PUTIN:
-Told? Yes he noticed nothing!

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Bush calls Putin and asks it not to withdraw the Russian money from American bankov.
putin covers a tube with a hand and asks Medvedev: "What from them to demand for it? "That from them you will take
", they became impoverished", tells Medvedev.
"Let for a hokhma will elect at themselves the president of the Black".

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Bush and Putin agreed to draw at each other sharzhi.
pervym the cartoon was shown by Putin. He drew Bush in a cowboy's hat,
V cowboy's boots, one foot costing in Iraq the second in Afganistane
i pissing to Iran. Laughed to Bush ponrawilos.
busch showed the creation. He drew Putin in the form of the woman with bolshimi
grudyami. One breast is sucked by the child more with Gryzlov's face and emblemoy
"the United Russia", and the second absolutely the baby with Mironov's face and emblemoy
"Just Russia". Putin did not like also he speaks:
-But after all in Russia many parties, where the others? speaks:
-I simply was ashamed to draw
BUSh that suck other parties.

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Bush asks Vladimir Putina:
-, what to me from Dostoyevsky to esteem?
-"Idiot"...

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The editor of the newspaper who allowed a typographical error in the name of article about the prime minister's trip "Putin on K. Alyn" was dismissed

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In army before vyborami:
-Companions soldiers if you for Putin, put opposite a tick if against, a dagger.

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In conversation with Putinym:
- And I know why you are afraid, Vladimir of Vladimirovich
-Why? I will not tell
-, I am afraid!!!

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In 2028 before elections all beg Putin to stop the election campaigns irritating the people with the uselessness and I cannot become monarkhom.
-, promised Yeltsin to keep democracy in Russia. Elections will proceed.

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In 2004 Putin congratulated on a victory on elections of Yanukovicha.
v 2005 Putin congratulated on a victory on elections of Shredera.
a Putin in 2000 would congratulate on a victory on Bush's elections, everything could do by
byt on another...
A here in 2008 Putin will congratulate on a victory himself...