Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Medvedev

<** Previous Topic          Next Topic **>

408  409  410  411  412  413  414  415  416  417  418  419

Why it is interesting to Medvedev the video blog if it has a blog "Channel One"!?

*****

- Why Medvedev went on a meeting with participants of the Komedi
klab project?
ON wanted to see personally at whom in Russia laugh more, than nad
nim.

*****

Why Medvedev resolved a party registration? Why sharpers allow to win
A sometimes?
chtoby you hoped and continued to play by their rules.

*****

Why to the president the video blog if it has the First Channel?

*****

Medvedev calls the family, next day after presidential elections, takes the call mama:
medvedev: Hi mother! How you there?
MAMA: Sonny hi! Congratulations! We all night long did not sleep, worried as vote will pass as the people will vote!
medvedev: Mother, well stop … .khot you not under ** yvay!

*****

- Hello, Dmitry Anatolyevich!
- Hello, Vladimir Vladimirovich!
- That we so officially?! Hi, Dimon!
- Hello, Vladimir Vladimirovich!

*****

- Also remember, Vova, - the goldfish told, is your third and last desire!
- Of course! - unperturbably Vova answered, considering a small fish in an aquarium, and thought: "But at Dima remained two more!"

*****

There is Medvedev across the Kremlin. Suddenly from round the corner Putin with shout jumps out: "Gav!". Medvedev was dumbfounded from a fright. Putin:
-That, Dmitry Anatolyevich, was frightened? Sayechka for a fright!
Ha goes the next day Putin across the Kremlin, suddenly from round the corner Medvedev with shout "Gav!!". Putin fell and lies - neither is living, nor is dead. Medvedev was frightened, Vladimir Vladimirovich shakes him for plecho:
-... Vladimir Vladimirovich, what with you?
- That, Dmitry Anatolyevich was frightened? Sayechka for a fright!

*****

There is a president Medvedev and Putin, on a meeting, Medvedev's assistant here, speaks to the president, Dmitry Anatolyevich, wait, to you some thread clung, suddenly loud whisper of Putin, "so, silently! Not to touch! … it is the necessary thread!"

*****

From the file of CIA on future president of Rossii:
"Ivanov Sergey Borisovich, 1953 year of birth,
ON Medvedev Dmitry Anatolyevich, 1965 year of birth,
ON Putin Vladimir Vladimirovich, 1952 year of birth..."

*****

It is interesting when the electoral commission appoints Medvedev the President, and Medvedev will appoint Putin the prime minister - who whom to himself will haul up on the carpet - Putin Medvedev or Medvedev of Putin?

*****

Internet conference D. And. Medvedeva.
-to me 4 million messages with one question came here: when at last, increase a salary? In my opinion, it simply spam!

*****

- Isaak, you heard, what Medvedev and Bush went to the world?
- Heard, Abram, heard, and to us not to endure this war.

*****

The Goldfish granted all desires of the President - both soccer, and hockey, and the Eurovision, the President released a small fish. The small fish floats and thinks: strange however desires, let me ask, why such. Comes back, asks:
-From where so strange desires?
prezident:
-A THAT? Well usually tsars, kings, presidents there everyones asked me war to help to win
-, new to build the capital, the state strong sdelat.
prezident: - And WHAT, it was POSSIBLE?!!!

*****

The correspondent with a chamber approaches the man and asks: "What do you think of the elected Russian President Dmitry Medvedev?"
TOT otvechayet:
-Da in any way. I its sober never videl.
korrespondent:
-Da Va that? The president Medvedev practically does not drink!
MUZHIK:
-A at what here the president Medvedev?

*****

Dmitry Medvedev puts a hand on the Constitution and speaks: Gazprom. Dreams come true.

*****

When Dmitry Medvedev says that "the bill passed obshchestvennye
slushaniya", it becomes clear that the president does not visit the sites of jokes.

*****

When at the request of journalists Putin made the verbal description of the ideal woman, Medvedev's portrait turned out.

*****

When at a geography lesson the teacher asked Dima Medvedev where there is Libya, he already then took a neutral position on this question.

*****

Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev's cat Dorofei does not execute command of the owner until they are approved by the prime minister.

*****

Kot Dorofei so got used to be "the President's cat" that preferred starvation to the disgraceful future...

*****

Around double standards! That is why Medvedev can talk to a ballot box and when I did the same (in park on all fours), I in police was taken away??

*****

- Who will be the president of Russia in 2008? Putin obyavit the successor. Call
OTTSA of future president of Russia Anatoly.
ETO very known, untwisted figure. Who is it?
- Very known, untwisted... Ksenia Sobchak?
- Is not present, to it still

*****

- Who sat on my chair?! Who drank
- from my cup?!
- Calm down, Dmitry Anatolyevich, is the former office of Putin!

*****

March 3, 2012. Medvedev, with sad farewell ulybkoy:
-... also play badminton, misters, play badminton more often! Vse
gluposti in this world are made by the people who are not able to play badminton!

*****

March 3. Medvedev is called by mother and there begins prichitat
-Dimochka, I so worried, so worried! As these elections will pass worried, all night long did not sleep, worried, whether you will be able to win...
medvedev, zlo:
-Mothers! Well though you me not podjyobyvay!!!

*****

May 7. V. V. Putin gave to D. A. Medvedev the rank the People's artist of the Russian Federation.

*****

Medvedev introduced in the State Duma the bill on fight against corruption by means of badmintonny rackets.

*****

(Medvedev) - the Second World War, and we together will go to presidential elections?
(Putin) - Dim, handed the awards "The Best Blog of the Runet" and "The Best Twitter of the Runet" to you yesterday?
(Medvedev) - Vruchili.
(Putin) - Well will also be enough from you, it is not necessary to become impudent.

*****

Medvedev comes back home after the difficult working day, comes into a bedroom, and there Putin sleeps from it zhenoy.
-Vladimir Vladimirovich, what it means? You Understand
-, Dima the matter is that for the last 8 years constantly slept from the first lady - a habit!

*****

Medvedev resumed fight with pyanstvom.
nekrasivye women negoduyut.
plasticheskiye surgeons rub hands.

*****

Medvedev meets with narodom.
-As live, companions?
- Well we live, - answers narod.
- And it would be desirable to live even better?
- If will be your instruction, we will live even better.

*****

Medvedev at a meeting with ER -... it is necessary to stick...
dmitry Anatolyevich, specify - intravenously or intramuscularly?!

*****

Medvedev says to Putin after a match of Russian national teams and Finland on futbolu:
-Thank God that we paid Finns, but not judges. It would be absolutely ugly if judges start hammering.

*****

Medvedev on a visit at Putin, examines garderob:
-Wow, Vova, what cool suits at you, ties, hats! Only why to you worn women's dress?
- Is useful. You understand, Dima, I always think of the future...

*****

Medvedev zhaluyetsya:
-All around speak that I am Jew. Well and what, if Jew? Jesus too was the Jew - and whom became! sochuvstvenno:
-do not tell
iisus, Dmitry, Judas too was the Jew - and whom became!

*****

Medvedev complains Putinu:
-I wrote very tough letter of Yushchenko here, and he does not answer! I and on the video blog exposed it, and on a TV set its whole day drive, and the answer is not present!
putin is lazy otvechayet:
- And it sent me a strange sms: Vladimir Vladimirovich, at you, apparently, a lace was untied...

*****

Medvedev is engaged in badminton because, as he said, "this remarkable sport develops ability quickly to make the correct decisions". Judging by his political career, he should be engaged in badminton of at least 500 more years...

*****

Medvedev, Zyuganov and Yavlinsky fly in samolete.
vdrug at big height the plane loses speed and falls. Politicians decide to escape by means of parachutes, but it appeared that in the plane is only one komplekt.
medvedev speaks: I know how to divide a parachute. Let's hold elections. Who will win, that and will receive it". Zyuganov and Yavlinsky agree. Held elections. As a result Medvedev won, took a parachute and jumped off with samoleta.
zyuganov speaks to Yavlinsky: "Look that such your democracy!" .
yavlinsky: "I understand everything, is only unclear how Medvedev gathered in the plane 2577 voices bigger, than we?"