Jokes about the Chukchi

Read funny Jokes about the Chukchi

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- And you know who the first departed to space on dogs? Chukchi's
- …?
- of the Flea!

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And deer it is better! - the Chukchi drew a conclusion, having visited on a visit at the Korean.

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Abram with Sara marry the son to the Chukchi, there's nothing to be done, the love is love...
Ha to a wedding rises the brother nevesty:
-On our Chukchi custom I have to present newly married three upryazhki
sobak, but why to you in Odessa dogs? I sold them and I give you 600 Mesedes.
abram with Sara exchanged glances... Mother of the bride and speaks:
-On our Chukchi custom I have to present
vstayet to my son-in-law of plagues, but zachem
vam in Odessa of plagues? I sold it and I give three-storyed osobnyak.
abram with Sara again exchanged glances...
vstayet the father nevesty:
-On our Chukchi custom I have to present to my son-in-law herd of deer,
NO I sold them and I give 100 000 dollarov.
abram speaks:
-Sar, and it does not seem to you, what they somehow are similar to JAPANESE more?!

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The American geologists found some Arab country over large deposits of the American oil.

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The Englishman, the American and the Chukchi pass test for a survival: kto
bolshe days will hold on without food. At everyone the room in which a bedside table,
krovat and telefon.
anglichanin called in three days, the American - in five days. Chukcha
molchit ten days, twenty. The commission decided to check: as there chuvstvuyet
sebya winner. Come, see - the Chukchi on a lap in front of phone i
umolyaet:
-Phone, phone sits, the Chukchi wants to eat.

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Served to the Englishman, the Frenchman, the Russian, the Chukchi and the Jew coffee with dead mukhoy.
anglichanin: splashed out kofe.
frantsuz: threw out a fly, drank kofe.
russky: drank coffee with mukhoy.
chukcha: ate a fly as did not know that such kofe.
evrey: drank 2 coffee as exchanged the fly for the Chukchi's coffee.

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Announcements of telecasts on the OPT:
channel - Romanticism from main road. Why the people dreaming to become geologists go to work in GAI.
- New day of throats. Once again about hungover sindrome.
-Time to collect stones. Ore reserves istoshcheny.
-Tired out two horses. And chess players take vzyatki.
-ducks Fly. Interview to witnesses of explosion in hospital.

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Army. "Private Ivanov! "
- " I! "
-" private Petrov! "
- " I! "
-" private Chukcha! "
- " mine! "
- " That "mine"? "
- " it is so exact! "
- " That Is "so exact"? "
-" Ur-r-ra!!!"

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The Armenian radio is asked: from where undertook global potepleniye.
armyanskoye radio answers: the Chukchi caught a goldfish and asked that it was warm.

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The Chukchi down the street and krichit:
-Freedom to Gorbachev runs! Freedom to Gorbachev!
EGO ostanavlivayut.
- The Chukchi, you went crazy?
- However, just by radio heard: "In the conclusion Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev told...!"

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Protected small rivers in the tundra around a polar circle. Poizderzhavshiysya
v ways, the hungry and angry geologist will come across the Chukchi sitting with udochkoy
ryadom with a hill of fresh fish. Hunger wins against awkwardness, and proiskhodit
primerno such dialog:
- The Chukchi, treat with a small fish?!
- I cannot, however. Chief director not velit.
pauza. The geologist nashelsya:
-Listen, the Chukchi, and who in these regions the Chief Director?
- However, I...
- the Chief, allow to take small fishes! Take
-, however, and eat on health, how many you want!

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Two talk chukchi:
- The daughter sent to Odessa to the top model uchitsya.
-Recently And what, could not closer? There people humour appreciate
-A, however!

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Two talk chukchi:
- The Strange and original country Belorus …
- It why?
- And you think who will call the country in honor of a tractor?

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Two Chukchi enter the bus. The first asks at Driverya:
-I will reach by this bus to the station? Will reach
-. - quietly answers Driver.
- And I? - asks vtopoy.
- And you will reach. - also quietly answers Driver.
-Here did not guess! - the second rejoices. - I will descend earlier!
Driver closes doors, takes a microphone and objyavlyaet:
-To the station the bus will proceed without stops! - and victoriously looks at the second Chukchi.

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To armies there are classes in assembly/dismantling avtomata.
chukcha Companion ensign asks at praporshchika:
-! And why, however, person not razbirayetsya
tak, how machine gun??? Here you imagine
-A, companion Chukchi: before a release vy
razobralis also went to bed. And here suddenly at night ALARM!!! Vse
vskakivayut, start putting on, and you to collect the body, and v
sumatokhe instead of the head put on an ass!!! And what we have???
pilotka does not nalazit, the soldier's blouse is not clasped, all krichat
'' HURRAH'', and you THAT???

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In military unit there is the next check. The general () is accompanied by the ordinary Chukchi (Ch).
G (having run a finger over a window sill): - What is it?
Ch: - Dust, the companion general.
g (having run a finger over a table): - And it that such?
Ch: - Dust, companion general.
g: - Listen, the ordinary Chukchi, you know the Russian poslovitsu
pro a pig?
Ch: - So precisely, companion general.
g: - Well....
Ch: - The pig will find dirt everywhere.

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On Sunday to the coast of the Ledovity ocean there was one million the Chukchi and began to catch fish on gvozd.
-Why you it, fools, do? - asks them pogranichnik.
-to prove that we - chukchi.
- And why to you it is necessary?
- Differently will expel back to China.

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Came to cafe: Englishman, Frenchman, Russian, Jew and Chukchi. Served all coffee with a fly. The Englishman pulled out a fly and drank coffee. The Frenchman did not begin to drink anything. The Russian drank coffee with a fly. The Chukchi ate only a fly as did not know that such some coffee. And the Jew drank two coffee as changed the fly on chukchin coffee.

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The Chukchi addressing to cafe to ofitsiantu:
- The Chief, bring, however, to me a sugar slice!
- Sorry, but it will be already the tenth!
- Well and what? Previous already drowned.

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To Ministry for Protection of the Environment and Natural Resources there is a meeting on a Production Sharing Agreement, the report on implementation of agreements on Sakhalinu.
geologi obeys report that will reach the Perm deposits soon and will go neft.
ministr Artyukhov listens and suddenly vydayet:
"Everything is clear. But one is unclear: to whom did the idea to drag oil from Perm on Sakhalin come to mind?"

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At the beginning of reorganization the Chukchi was elected the deputy to Congress of councils. Arrived to Moscow and is registered in the commission as the deputy. Received the certificate of the deputy, and in the sheet instead of the signature puts three daggers (+++). Members of the commission ask ego:
-What is it?
chukcha explains: - Understand, we illiterate, I am not able to write. The first dagger is my surname …
choyeny of the commission (guess): - And the second and third, respectively, name and middle name, huh?
chukcha: - No! Doctor of science, professor!

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It is possible to find many minerals in a subsoil of our country, and on a surface - there are a lot of harmful.

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In one scientific research institute experiment was made: to the Chukchi made implantatsiyu
zhopy. In twelve hours the ass tore away the Chukchi.

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In Paris competition on the DIRTIEST ZHEHSHCHIHU.
TPETYE a place is carried out the Frenchwoman received - she had the dirtiest ushi.
vtopoye a place at the Italian for sweaty and unshaven podmyshki.
pepvoye a place at the Russian - she steps on the stage, takes off pants, throws them on a wall, and they ppilipayut.
ho the GRANDEE AT receives the Chukchi! She steps on the stage, from under a fur coat takes off pants, throws them on a wall, they stick.... and slowly creep up.

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In Paris new Russian brakes gida:
-I come to the Eiffel Tower already the eighth time and changes nothing?
-A that has to change?
- As that? Found here eventually oil or not?

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As a result of the conducted researches the main were defined vidy
cheburashek as it is the most frequent vstrechayushchiyesya:
1) the Cheburashka - the friend krokodila;
2) Cheburok - Cheburashka-fatalist;
3) Cheburyk - the Cheburashka lvinopodobny, oborzevshi;y
4) Cheburak - the Cheburashka the confused (reddened) ;
5) Cheburek - Cheburashka-reketir;
6) Cheburuk - the Cheburashka with long (hairy) lapo;y
7) Cheburyshka - the Cheburashka martyshechny VIDA;
8) Cheburyushka - the Cheburashka, the fan YUSHKI;
9) Cheburyonka - okorovevshy Cheburashka;
10) Cheburyatka - Cheburyatka from Buryatii;
11) Cheburyuk - Cheburashka-aziat;
12) Cheburod - ugly Cheburashka;
13) Cheburylo - the Cheburashka with impudent litsom;
14) Cheburyakh - grown fat Cheburashka;
15) Cheburozha - and so all yasno;
16) Cheburashpil - big-nosed Cheburashka;
17) Cheburator - the producer of Cheburashek;
18) Cheburukcha - Cheburashka-chukcha;
19) Cheburoker - Cheburashka-roker;
20) Cheburolog - Cheburashka-urolog;
21) Cheburigen - Cheburashka-ostrovityanin;
22) Cheburaptor - predatory Cheburashka;
23) Cheburebe - Cheburashka-ravvin;
24) Cheburadzha - Indian Cheburashka;
25) Cheburazzyava - scattered Cheburashka;
26) Cheburvan - Cheburashka-bomzh;
27) Cheburog - …
28) Cheburazina - …
vyvod: Our Cheburashka - the most cheburashechny Cheburashka on light!!!

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In a taiga the geologist froze. It was found by the Chukchi, took to himself home,
nakormil, gave to drink, with the wife put bed. The geologist in poryve
blagodarnosti invited him to himself on a visit, to Moscow. And here through nekotoroye
time receives the telegram from the Chukchi: "Food, meet." The geologist thinks: "Well,
nakormlyu, I will sing, but not to put it with my wife!" Ran to three stations,
nashel "girl" there and persuaded her to oversleep for ten with the Chukchi. And chukche
said: "You are the good friend, so I you with daily zhenoy
ulozhu? I will lay you with the smart wife. "
chukcha returned from Moscow, tells: "Good city of Moscow!
khoroshy friend geologist! And wife such good, smart at it! - still with...
kapayet!"

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In a yurta lie the Chukchi father growth 1.50, Chukchi mother growth 1.40... Zakhodit
syn-chukcha growth 1.30 and speaks:
- The Father, I want to marry, blessing day.
-Well, conduct the bride, pokazhi.
syn brings the bride growth 1.20. The father speaks:
-Is not present, I forbid, with such rates we to mice dotrakhatsya...

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- Great a mganga, my wife gave birth to three sons. Interpret it znameniye.
-Gods say that you should cut off right yaytso.
through year the Chukchi again came to shamanu.
-Great a mganga, my wife gave birth to three daughters. What do gods speak? Go

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Around the world production of that is their primordial national food, despite the general ban is allowed to natsmenshinstvo. To Chukchi allow to get a salmon out of quotas. To the American Eskimos - to beat a seal. The African tribes of cannibals too wait for the positive decision voprosa.
(011) Nolvosmidesyaty.

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The People's Deputy to himself came back to Chukotka. Ask it - As passed congress?
-of Halaso!
- Criticized somebody?
- Criticized imperial pravitelstvo.
-For what?
-A why it sold Alaska to America, but not Chukotka?

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It comes back in a week, with classified documents, reyskhmarka, a banner of a regiment fascist, well etc. also tells - here all trophies, and at the same time I and all staff smoothed out from friyets!

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Two Chukchi from hunting come back, drag for a tail of a walrus, that rests canines against snow, to drag meshayet.
popalsya to them towards geolog:
-you better for canines drag - it will be easier! The Chukchi's
Tak also made. Go further, impressions delyatsya:
-Hear, - tells one, - it became much easier. However clever that geolog.
-Is not present, - tells another, - however the fool the geologist. Look, again to the sea came!

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question -OTVET:
-Why Chukchi do not drink boiled milk?
- However at a deer of a horn in the socket do not vlazit!

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The bear of an ostrich meets and speaks:
-Hear, the ostrich, I watched you here, and here it became interesting to me that you at danger the head to the earth tycht it? What for?
- I do not know who as, and I look for oil!

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Meet two
-Ya which were odnoklassnika:
-What do you do? the director of international firm!
- As? You on English had a three!
- Yes, work for us 7 Russians, 2 Tatars and 1 Chukchi.

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Meet two Chukchi. Speaks to one another: "However, in our corner of the world the bird new appeared! DRAGS PEOPLE!! Yesterday three times shot, did not release yet … The HANG-GLIDER is called!!!"

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Meet two Chukchi. One drugomu:
-Salute, goat!
- You are salute, - another took offense.

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Two Chukchi meet, and to one another speaks:
-Hear, and your wife walks...
- A- And, let walks, it is warmly dressed!