Jokes about the Chukchi

Read funny Jokes about the Chukchi

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You too long lived on Chukotka, If:
1) And a deer luchshe.
2) you regret that America bought Alaska, but not Chukotka because America is the most developed country Evropy.
3) you seriously consider that if you were colonized not by Russia, but America, you now would be the numerous and prospering nation and lived on the earth as koroli.
4) On elections you voted for Abramovich, though were surprised that he stands under a middle name, but not under familiyey.
5) you recently incidentally learned that at you in the settlement for failure to pay disconnected electricity. You were also told that such electricity and you pretended that poverili.
6) you also learned that in Russia overthrew the tsar and build Soviet vlast.
7) - 1000) you... (read a selection of jokes about the Chukchi)
1001) you laugh, having heard a new joke or especially ridiculous history and send them using a convenient opportunity on Anekdot.Ra. For some reason your jokes when they reach, always publish in repeated, and stories in the additional. But sometimes, if the moderator zazevatsya, you are lucky and your work publish in novykh.
po to such case you slaughter a northern polar penguin and arrange northern polar Sabantuy.

*****

- Why you left from the previous place of work?
- For the reason ustalosti.
-What fatigue? I do not know
-, simply they told that of me were tired.

*****

Issued to the Chukchi the passport. Every other day comes again and asks novyy.
-Why to you the second?
- However, the Chukchi smokes.

*****

The Chukchi won "Volga" under the lottery ticket. Comes and speaks:
-Give me red "Volgu.
a emu:
-Want the black? the green? the blue? the yellow? And red at us net.
-Ah, so, - the Chukchi speaks, - then return me my fifty kopeks.

*****

The Chukchi in a lottery won "Zhiguli". Arrived on the North, to relatives. One of relatives looks on fary:
-Big glaza.
drugoy clapped on kryshe.
-Strong shkura.
trety the Male looks on exhaust trubu:
-.

*****

Exhibition of works of reindeer breeders. First picture: three deer in a team, the drunk reindeer breeder in sledge the Name: "Labor everyday life in reindeer-breeding economy "A curve in the Horn". Second picture: three drunk deer in a team, the drunk reindeer breeder in sledge. Name: "Reindeer-breeding economy "Of a curve in the Horn", Saturday, Sunday". Third picture: three drunk reindeer breeders in a team, a drunk deer in sledge. Name: "A reindeer-breeding national holiday "Day of the Deer". Fourth picture: three drunk reindeer breeders in a team, the drunk bearded man in sledge. Name: "A public holiday "Day of the geologist"

*****

The day off. Geologists arranged themselves a holiday and unexpectedly quickly finished off all stock of alcohol. Went for searches. Go, and to them towards chukcha.
-Hey, and you here nearby have a shop?
- Is, odnako.
- And how to reach it?
- Sit down on sledge and go directly. And on Thursday turn to the right...

*****

The geologist asks Chukchu:
-As often wash?
- Every time letom.
- And in the winter?
-A how many that winter:

*****

The geologist left to the river, it is necessary for him on that party, and here on the river the Khanty in the boat floats. The geologist hantu:
-Hey, the Khanty, transport on that storonu.
khant geologu:
-Winter was that thought?

*****

The geologist in a route will come across an izba in the wood.
zakhodit, and there the grandma sidit.
-Hi, speaks, the grandmother!
-Ya - the geologist, oil I look for, at you it is possible to spend the night?
-A of that is impossible? Nochuy.
-But I not one, and with geofizikom.
- And you it, are small, in an outer entrance hall bind.

*****

The geologist asks chabana:
- The Father, tell, and how many your sheep give for a wool season?
- White or black? - asks chaban.
-Well, chernye.
-Black - 2 kilogramma.
- And white? White - 2 kilogramma.
- And tell
-I, the father, how many for them it is necessary a stern in day?
- Black or white? - specifies chaban.
-Well, chernym.
-Black - 1 kilogramm.
- And white? - it is not appeased geolog.
- And white - 1 kilogramm.
geolog in beshenstve:
-You that? Why all the time you ask black or white, after all result same?!!!!
- Well - at, so black mine...
- of a-a-a, And white answers chaban.
(the geologist knowingly)?
-I white mine...

*****

The geologist asks chukchu-pastukha:
- The Father, tell, and how many your deer give for a season of horns?
- White or black? - asks chukcha.
-Well, chernye.
-Black - 2 kilogramma.
- And white? White - 2 kilogramma.
- And tell
-I, the father, how many for them it is necessary a stern in day?
- Black or white? - specifies chukcha.
-Well, chernym.
-Black - 1 kilogramm.
- And white? - it is not appeased geolog.
- And white - 1 kilogramm.
geolog in beshenstve:
-You that, you confuse me? Why all the time you ask black or white, after all result same?!
- Well - at, so black mine … - answers chukcha.
geolog, ponimayushche:
-A-a-a, And white?
-I white mine.

*****

Geologists in the village chukchey:
-Who the oldest person in your settlement?
Anybody. The oldest died the other day.

*****

Geologists go on the tundra, and at them the car gets stuck. They this way and that - cannot pull out. The Chukchi on olenyakh:
-However approaches give a bottle - I will tell that to you nado.
geologi:
-Yes there are you the Chukchi! Without you vytashchim.
ves day was pulled out - not vytashchili.
snova the Chukchi on deer passes. Geologists stop it, govoryat:
- The Chukchi, here to you a bottle, tell, what it is necessary to us?
-A! However now give two bottles!
DALI to the Chukchi two bottles. The Chukchi laid them in sledge, sat down itself and speaks:
-However the TRACTOR it is necessary to you!
I left.

*****

Geologists got in a taiga to a bog. The chief runs round the car, swears, but can do nothing sdelat.
-Eh, it is necessary to call the bulldozer that pulled out that it...
TUT approaches it chukcha:
- The Chief, and the chief, give fiery water, I will tell that delat.
-Yes leave alone you, what you can, do not see how stuck?
- the Chief, well give fiery water, I will tell what to do.
- Well, tell, tell!! At first give
- fiery water, then I will tell.
- is fine, on, look do not choke...
chukcha overturns in itself a mug with alcohol and speaks, utirayas:
-However, the chief, the bulldozer should be called...

*****

Geologists in a taiga got stuck in a bog. The chief runs round the car, swears...
- of Lines, it is necessary to call the bulldozer...
TUT approaches it chukcha:
- The Chief, and the chief, give fiery water, I will tell that it is necessary to do!
- Yes leave alone you, you do not see how stuck?
- the Chief, well give fiery water, I will tell what to do...
- is fine, on, take a sip!
chukcha overturns in itself a mug of alcohol and speaks:
-However, the bulldozer should be called...

*****

Geologists somewhere on Chukotka unexpectedly quickly finished off all stock of alcohol. How to be? Went for searches. Met chukchu.
-Hear, you here nearby have a shop?
- Is, odnako.
- And how to it to reach?
-A sit down on a dog and ekhay there, all directly and directly. And on Thursday turn to the right.

*****

Main precept Chukchi: "Never, do not eat yellow snow".

*****

Two surveyors, one with the device, another with a lath, stand on decent distance the friend from druga.
-is Slightly more right! - loudly shouts pervyy.
-I do not hear! - shouts vtoroy.
-I speak more to the right! I do not hear
-!
pervy in a whisper in storonu:
-Well a goat...
vtoroy also shepotom:
- The goat!!!

*****

Two Chukchi hang up the antenna. One climbs on a ladder and shouts priyatelyu:
-Ey! Podstrakhey!!! Itself podstrakh@y!!!
From podstrakh*ya I hear!!!

*****

Two Chukchi got at the ocean of a walrus, drag it in a settlement. Pull for flippers, and tusks behind cling to the earth. Meets requirements of them geolog:
-Chukchi, you would take it for tusks - it would be more convenient to drag!
Te and made. Drag a walrus for tusks, one Chukchi speaks:
-However the geologist clever - to drag and the truth became more convenient!
- the Fool your geologist, watch - again to the sea came!

*****

Two Chukchi go on the coast of the White Sea. Odin:
-Wow! I found 10 dollars!
- Good fellow … The fool, why you threw out them?
- Fake!
- Why??
- Well where you saw ten with two zero!?

*****

Two Chukchi go on an ocean coast, one another speaks:
-I ten dollars nashel.
- The Good fellow, however, and why you threw out them?
- False...... odnako.
-From where you know?
- Where you saw ten dollars with two zero?

*****

Two Chukchi catch fish by the boat - one on a nose, and another in the tail. That on a nose, hears loud splash behind, is wrapped - and the friend is not present. It to and fro - is not present the second Chukchi anywhere. Suddenly in minutes five - ukhkhkhkhkh - are come up by it from under water. What in the boat asks:
-You where were, I for you so was frightened? Of Che you are frightened by
-, the fool, I a worm went to change.

*****

Two Chukchi hit a deer and drag him home. Drag for hvost.
1 the Chukchi: - however hard deer tashchit.
2 Chukchi: - however the yaranga everything is closer and blizhe.
povstrechali than Russian, and he also speaks im:
-That you a deer for a tail drag it, for horns after all udobnee.
poslushalis Chukchi, pull for roga.
1 the Chukchi further: - however for horns to drag much more conveniently, than for hvost.
2 the Chukchi: - however the yaranga everything is farther and farther.

*****

Two Chukchi approach the chief of the train. The first: "This train will take me to Leningrad? "
- " Is not present". The second: "And me?"

*****

Two Chukchi razgovarivayut:
-However, Nikolashk's fool - the emperor was.
- Why?
- Because sold Alaska to Americans, and Chukotka - no.

*****

Two Chukchi. Odin:
-Samoletka flies, governmental, however!
VTOROY:
-Is not present, not governmental. Would be governmental, ahead by
chetyre the motorcyclist flied.

*****

Two Chukchi look in nebo.
-However, the plane flies. Government!
- However, hardly: when government, then still around motorcycles: "tr-r-r-r!".

*****

Two Chukchi drag to the settlement of the killed on hunting of a walrus for a tail. Its tusks, naturally, cling to the earth and difficultly to drag it. Towards geologist. Looked and speaks:
-So you for the head drag it, it will be easier!
NU, Chukchi and made - took for the head and dragged. One speaks:
-Is right, however, the geologist! It is easier to drag!
VTOROY:
-your Fool of the geologist! It is easier to drag, and the settlement, however, everything is farther and farther!

*****

Two Chukchi brothers went to army. One became a paratrooper, jumps na
ucheniyakh with a parachute. Suddenly sees - to it towards the brother letit.
-Hi! You that it to me towards fly?
- Yes I am a miner!

*****

Hammered with two Chukchi a walrus and tanut it the head forward, and it canines plows the earth. They meet the Russian. That also speaks to them "Children, you che brakes, would take for canines - easier to drag". Well those thought, undertook canines and dragged. Through chas:
-Listen, and clever this Russian - easier to drag became!
- is easier easier, but we again to the sea came: (((((

*****

Two Chukchi graze herd of deer near Anadyr aeroporta.
-Look, what big plane departed!
- Yes - and- And... Probably, pravitelstvennyy.
-However the motorcycle ahead is not present!

*****

Two Chukchi removed the maiden, she to them speaks:
-That I did not give rise, you have to put on condoms!
ONI and made. Passed night, and they parted. Through god
vstrechayutsya. To one another speaks:
-Well, at me already turned black, can we will remove? Let's remove
-, let gives birth!

*****

- What does the Chukchi do, grabbling on a supermarket?
- Looks for low prices!

*****

Business happens on Chukotka. Every evening to the seashore there is a Chukchi and shouts towards Ameriki:
-Beggars!
- Why beggars if is not worse than ours live? - ask ego.
-Alaska bought, and for Chukotka of money was not enough.

*****

The Russian and the Chukchi fight. The cop approaches and asks:
-Because of what we fight?
- Yes here, - are told by the Russian, - in any way cannot find out who hozyain
chukotki.
nu put them in one chamber, say there and find out. On sleduyushchee
utro they are let out and asked: "Well found out? "
- Yes, - are told by the Chukchi, - understood. He is an owner, I am a hostess.

*****

chukchey.
-yours Took.
-Anything washing dialogue of two did not take.

*****

For this purpose, to prove that Chukchi - not such stupid as some think, decided to make indicative flight of the Chukchi-letchika.
nu, found the Chukchi with the highest IQ as soon as could, ugovarivayut:
-Everything is simple: you fly on the autopilot of 15 minutes, you pull for this handle, throws out you with a parachute, you pull a ring, a parachute you are developed, land, here you are waited by the bus, you are carried on base and you receive a perfect zhrachka not that you are given …
NU ok here. Flies, so chukcha; in 15 minutes pulled for the handle, vykinulo; pulled it a ring - anything, once again - again nichego.
chukcha it (is disappointed):
- Well here, now also the bus for certain will be late, and food will not get!