Jokes about the Chukchi

Read funny Jokes about the Chukchi

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At the Chukchi sprashivayut:
-Listen, all with brooms go to a bath, and you that with the vacuum cleaner?!
-B shop was told - washing, however …

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At the Chukchi sprashivayut:
-You opened the account in PayCash?
-A what is it? of
-electronic money …
- However, a toilet electronic will be necessary … to
-? Where I them will glue
-A?

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At the Chukchi sprashivayut:
-Chukcha, and you like to smoke?
CHUKCHA:
-Kurit? I like to smoke, I do not let out a cigarette from a mouth! The
Chukchi, and you love women?
Female? I love women, all would climb, one - lips would leave … what for?
-KURIT I LOVE lip
-A …

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Ask the Chukchi: Whose astronautics the best in the world?
-NASA, - is proud the Chukchi answered.

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Chukchi of a walrus killed. Drag it from the sea to themselves in plagues. Hard to them. There passed by the geologist, speaks:
-A you for tusks would drag him, it will be easier after all - will not cling to snow!
Tak and sdelali.
-Odnako, shaman! Precisely, so easier …
through to steam chasov:
-Odnako, silly geologist! In vain listened … However, again to the sea left …

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Persuaded the Chukchi to take on hunting of the American tourist. They came deeply into a taiga, left on berlogu.
-yours to look, the Chukchi not to disturb, - speaks chukcha.
i the Chukchi at a den began to jump, to shout, to disturb a stick the owner of a taiga. The bear woke up and on the offender moved. The Chukchi on skis and to run. The American sees, the bear catches up with the Chukchi. Shot, struck a bear. Runs up to it chukcha:
-Why shot? Absolutely bad hunter! How to plague we will drag hulk?

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France. Tours of the Yakut ballet. Statement "The swan lake" .
kolossalny success! The correspondent asks at baletmeystera:
-As long you rehearsed? To
- There are Six months and two weeks... We rehearsed actually two weeks, a
shest months I tried to explain to dancers that such a swan...

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Well to Chukchi. Where fell - there and housewarming.

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The person saw how the angry wolf attacked a little lamb. He killed a wolf and rescued defenseless zhivotnoye.
potom he saw how the insatiable lamb eats amazing beauty emerald travu.
chelovek killed a lamb and Saviour travu.
potom it began to tear out this grass because she sucked juice from the earth. Then he saw how the dirty black earth spoiled a landscape, and all zaasfaltiroval.
potom sat down and reflected: what still to make such kind and useful?...

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To that from the first steps Eskimos of the children teach?
- cannot be eaten Yellow snow. Never you eat yellow snow.

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Frank recognition of the Chukchi bribe taker: "Ours took..."

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Chkuche was given the apartment in Moscow. In a month the commission comes - to check, whether well it was arranged. Look: The Chkucha in a toilet sits, in the same place its stuff is put, and all apartment (walls, a floor, a ceiling) is painted in white color. Ask, showing on komnaty:
- The Chukchi that it at you all white is painted?
- However, tundra.
- And you that in a toilet sit?
- However, eranga.
-!? And to shit you where you go?
-B tundra, however.

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What do Chukchi when it is cold do?
zakryvayut a door also sit down in a yurta svechki.
chto around Chukchi when it is very much cold do?
ONI light it.

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Chukchi monetary units: one chuk - three gek, and ten chuk - odin
kayuk.

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The Chukchi national theater put the performance "Caesar and Brut" in three otdeleniyakh.
deystviye the first. The big Chukchi steps on the stage, beats the breast: "I am Caesar!" Zanaves.
deystviye the second. The big Chukchi, the Chukchi pomenshe.
bolshoy step on the stage: "I am Caesar!" It is less: "I - Brut! "
zanaves.
deystviye third. Step on the stage the big Chukchi, the Chukchi is less and the little Chukchi. Big: "I am Caesar!" It is less: "I - Brut!" Small: "I - Brut!" Big: "And you - Brut? "
zanaves.

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The Chukchi shaman started being rude in line for vodka and received couple of blows in a tambourine.

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The Chukchi chess player died during party, but 40 minutes nobody guessed it.

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The Chuksky national theater put the performance "Caesar and Brut" in three otdeleniyakh.
deystviye pervoye.
na a scene there is a big Chukchi, beats the breast: "I am Caesar!"
zanaves.
deystviye vtoroye.
na a scene leave the big Chukchi, the Chukchi pomenshe.
bolshoy: "I am Caesar!" It is less: "I - Brut!"
zanaves.
deystviye tretye.
na a scene leave the big Chukchi, the Chukchi is less and small Chukcha.
bolshoy: "I am Caesar!" It is less: "I - Brut!"
malenky: "I - Brut!" Big: "And you - Brut?"
zanaves.

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The Chukchi in Moscow lost the wife. Came to militia, asks, chtoby
emu helped it otyskat.
- What it, - the person on duty, - signs opishi.
- What else sign asks? - Well, here, - the person on duty, - my wife harmonous, high explains to
,
goluboglazaya.
- my old, bandy-legged, - the Chukchi speaks, - give tvoyu
iskat better.

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The Chukchi runs along the train and the Chukchi knocks on vagonam.
-, you that do? The First-class carriage I look for
-.

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The Chukchi returned from army, and at his wife - rebenok.
-However, from where the child: I after all was not? So after all you the photo sent
- from army, remember?
- However, but after all in the same place I to a belt...

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The Chukchi comes back from army. Neighbors prikalyvayutsya:
-That, the silliest to a regiment was, huh?!
- Not, one was even sillier, two years me for the woman took!

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Chukchi!!! Do not choose Abramovich as the governor!!! Abramovich is worthy to be the GREAT SHAMAN long ago!!!

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The Chukchi goes abroad. It is asked: "Well, how are you there at you v
rossii?" The Chukchi answers: "Represent, we have a country Medvedev, party Medvedev and the president Medvedev!"

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The Chukchi caused telemastera:
-However the TV broke! The sound absolutely is not present!
master asks:
- And how the sound was gone? However I do not know
-. I sit, I pick a screw-driver an ear, time - and a sound was gone!

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The Chukchi calls the master and speaks:
-Something at me the TV broke, it is necessary to repair a sound, odnako.
- And how broke?
- Yes all of a sudden - I sit, a screw-driver I pick an ear, suddenly time zvuk
propal...

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The Chukchi won "Volga" in a lottery. The wife speaks:
-Black do not take, take only beluyu.
chukcha two times went to shop - there are no white. The wife speaks:
-Well if now will not be, take dengami.
chukcha comes - is not present. Goes in kassu:
-Drive my five rubles back!

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The Chukchi acts on sjezde:
-Companions! To the Great October socialist revolution we, Chukchi, had two feelings: feeling of hunger and cold sense. Now we have three feelings: feeling of hunger, cold sense and feeling of deep satisfaction!

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The Chukchi came to the coast of the passage and shouts in Alyasku:
-Well, poorly? There is no money at you?
- Why is not present? Is! - answer amerikantsy.
- And what you bought Alaska, and for Chukotka of money was not enough?

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The Chukchi and the geologist collect pebbles on an ocean coast. Suddenly see the hungry polar bear going to them. Guns are not present. The Chukchi is enough a ski and begins them nadevat.
geolog speaks:
-Is useless! All the same you will not be able quicker to run medvedya.
- And me, however, and it is not necessary to run quicker than a bear. I should run quicker you!

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The Chukchi speaks to the wife: "You do not know why about us say, what we such / knocks on a tree/? "
Wife: "Knock".
chukcha: "Sidi, I will open."

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The Chukchi speaks: "However, in mountains the big bird appeared, people drags! The Chukchi three times shot before let out the person. The hang-glider is called!"

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The Chukchi speaks russkomu:
-Will guess, how many at me deer, I will give both!!!
-DVA.
-UUUHHHH!! Shaman!!!

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- The Chukchi why you vote for Zhirinovsky? Very well obeshchayet.
-So it will not execute
-!
- will not execute still when, and promises now.

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The Chukchi from the city brought a velveteen suit of the latest fashion. The father approvingly nods golovoy:
-However, a suit practical. To each voshka on a path!

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The Chukchi on doprose.
- The Surname?
- Whose?
- Name?
- Whose?
- So, WHOSE WHOSE, chyo, Chinese of a shtola?

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The Chukchi to the friend in plagues comes, looks: that redressed everything, in plaster lezhit.
-That, however, happened? - asks.
-Yes here, all week prepared for the Olympic Games, trained from a ten-meter tower in water to jump …
- A- And … You, probably, forgot a hole to make in ice!
- Well, the Chukchi clever, the Chukchi not zabyl.
-So in what business? The Hole you drill
- while on a tower you get and from it you jump, water again freezes, however.

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The Chukchi complains pravitelstvu:
-Why us Chukchi call, we do not want. Decided to call their People of Far North. The announcer objyavlyaet:
-Here goes for demonstrations a column of the People of Far North. They have slogans: "World, work, May, June, July, August..."

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The Chukchi zhene:
-Tomorrow people from the continent will arrive, to guzzle vodka, to have you - expedition is called.