Jokes about the Chukchi

Read funny Jokes about the Chukchi

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The Chukchi arrived to the big city and went to a zoo. Hulk approaches a cage with slonom:
-Anything to itself - on all settlement hvatit.
podkhodit to a cage with udavom:
-On such worm of the whole whale to catch mozhno.
podkhodit to obezyane:
-However, the mother-in-law how you got here?

*****

The Chukchi arrived home from Moscow and speaks:
- The Chukchi in Moscow was, the Chukchi clever became, all znayet:
okazyvayetsya, Karl, Marx, Friedrich, Engels not four persons, but two, and Slava of CPSU - at all not the person." option:.- not the Jew.", variant:
"... therefore we rename sculptural group "Karl, Marx, Friedrich, Engels" in "Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels and companions", and we reduce the herd of deer of the same name twice."

*****

The Chukchi arrived to Moscow, sits down in a taxi. Reached to a place, looks at the counter - four rubles. Gives to the taxi driver two rubles. That asks:
-What is the matter?
-A you that - did not go?

*****

The Chukchi arrived from Moscow and rasskazyvayet:
-However, oranges ate! Taste - just like...
- of the Seal?
- Is not present... Deer
-?
- Is not present, taste... as... to snoshatsya!

*****

The Chukchi brought in militia dollar:
-I found the passport of Washington!

*****

The Chukchi brought the TV in a yaranga, the wife vozmushchayetsya:
- Why secured, we have sockets net.
- the Chukchi clever, - the Chukchi parries, - it and the socket brought.

*****

The Chukchi comes with the complaint to ZhEK:
- Adjust, a pozalist, a toilet bowl. Water very quickly flows, I do not manage to wash.

*****

The Chukchi comes in magazin.
-How much is this accordion?
- to Chukchi not prodayem.
- And from what you took, what I am Chukchi?
- the Chukchi, is the battery!

*****

The Chukchi comes in parikmakherskuyu.
-As we will be cut, - ask, - a nulevka, semi-boxing, the Canadian?
- However, nulevka.
postrigsya, looks in zerkalo:
-However, badly, give the Canadian.

*****

the Chukchi comes to a police station, waves dollar and krichit:
-I found the passport of Washington!

*****

The Chukchi comes to seksopatologu.
- The Doctor, washing however, five sticks in a night!
- So same is very quite good!!!
- However, doctor, night polar!

*****

The Chukchi came to "Birch", looked round and asked a political asylum.

*****

The Chukchi came to shop pokupatkh trousers. It is given trousers, he removes old to try on new, and the seller sees that the Chukchi without pants. The seller asks:
-Well as so you it without pants go?
chukcha udivlenno:
- And why it to me they?
prodavets and obyasnyaet:
-Well the same heat and gigiyenichno.
chukcha bought it pants, put on at once. Then went to a toilet, took off trousers, and pants are not present. Sat down on a toilet bowl, made business, rose and speaks:
-Honestly warmly...
... and having looked in a toilet bowl, dobavlyaet:
- And it is hygienic.

*****

The Chukchi came to the Moscow department store, saw pants on a counter, asks prodavtsa:
- And it, however, what for?
prodavets, having been confused, otvechayet:
-Well, know, warmly and hygienically...
chukcha bought pants, arrived home, sat down out of need under a bush. Did in pants. Admires pokupkoy:
-Honestly, warmly!
oglyanulsya under a bush - chisto.
- And is hygienic!

*****

The Chukchi walks on a zoo. Suddenly stops at obezyannika:
-Spoke to you: "The foreman, do not steal!"

*****

The Chukchi drinks vodka and thinks: "Here we drink, we drink, became an inveterate drunkard already almost absolutely, and did not become rather Russian!".

*****

The Chukchi tells the wife: "Reorganization is as at us in a taiga during a hurricane: above noise, below darkness and cones fall".

*****

The Chukchi rasskazyvayet:
- The Bird new appeared. "Hang-glider" is called. Five times the Chukchi shot until she let out the person.

*****

The Chukchi decided to have hair cut. Came to a hairdressing salon. sprashivayut:
-As you to cut it, bare or under the Canadian?
-Nagolo.
parikmakher tonsured him bare. The Chukchi looked and speaks:
-Is not present, bare it is not pleasant to me. Cut under the Canadian.

*****

Chukcha:
-As the Russian of the geologist left, the wife, however, absolutely glupyy
stal - thinks, x %* - a tube, wants to smoke!

*****

The Chukchi with Russian in the winter on the wood go. Suddenly - a bear. Angry, hungry. Towards! The Chukchi starts very quickly skis fastening … Yes throw Russkiy:
-! All the same will catch up!
CHUKCHA:
-A! Mine - it is not necessary to run quicker a bear! Washing it is necessary - to run quicker yours!

*****

The Chukchi russkomu:
-If you will guess from the first, how many at me deer, I to you both otdam.
-Two!
- Shaman, however!

*****

The Chukchi sits down in a taxi and speaks taksistu:
-Carry me to the principle!
-???
- said to me Yes that in Moscow in principle everything is!

*****

The Chukchi plants at night potato, him sprashivayut:
-Why at night? That the Colorado beetle did not see
-.

*****

The Chukchi with himself razgovarivayet:
-Oh, old became, bad became, absolutely bad... Gavno became... And was gavno!

*****

The Chukchi at session of the Supreme Council demands to condemn dinastiyu
romanovykh:
-Why Alaska sold, and Chukotka left?

*****

The Chukchi sits on a log, Lenin smokes a pipe and from time to time povtoryaet:
-, however, the Chukchi byl
-Yes you that, - the passerby speaks to it. - Take the book, esteem, there everything is written!
- Is not present Lenin, however, the Chukchi was. Very clever was!.

*****

The Chukchi ambushes, guards a squirrel, a marten, a fox. The gun is charged with a buckshot. Suddenly sees: the helicopter flies, starts decreasing and falls. The Chukchi approaches, looks, the person moves. Silently prosit:
-Help, I am a chairman of the party! The Chukchi set the gun, smelled - and killed him. The second helicopter arrives, sits down near the first. Pilots at chukchi:
-Why ask you killed the person?
-A, the Chukchi knows, we have one chairman of the party! In Moscow!

*****

The Chukchi sits on a bough and the geologist and speaks:
- The Chukchi, you now upadesh.
-Not saws it under soboy.
prokhodit! Not upadu.
ukhodit the geologist, the Chukchi fell to the ground and the Shaman however speaks in sled:
-!

*****

The Chukchi the system administrator is komediya.
a when the system administrator - the Chukchi, it already the tragedy.

*****

The Chukchi brags sosedu:
-Bought the inflatable woman in the sex shop. Very much it in sekse
pomogayet, odnako.
- And how? - asks sosed.
-So far, however, I home run the wife to love, she from deer volkov
otpugivayet.

*****

The Chukchi asks in cash desk of Aeroflot: "The plane to Chukotka how many flies? "
-Minutochku... Thanks
-.

*****

The Chukchi goes down on a ladder from the plane with the lowered trousers, the stewardess to it krichit:
-you that, went crazy, put on trousers! Here you me tortured
-, itself spoke: that clasp belts, undo belts.

*****

The Chukchi costs on a post. Someone goes by. Chukchi: "Password!" - "Went on...!" Chukchi: "However, how many years stand, and the password is not changed".

*****

The Chukchi son approaches the Chukchi father and asks:
-Papa, tell an adnak to me, what nation the most stupid?
PAPA thought and otvetil:
-but, the sonny, we have good songs, an adnak!

*****

The Chukchi with the son hunt in a taiga. See - a squirrel. Pff!
"However, - a skin". See - an elk. Pff! "However, - meat" .
vidyat - geologists. Pff! Pff! Pff! "However, - matches".

*****

The Chukchi sinks and shouts: "However, water I drink! However, I drink much! However, here I will stay overnight!"

*****

The Chukchi goes to Moscow and asks at children
-Children that to you privesti.
-Cheremshi.
-Ah you are my sweet teeth.

*****

The Chukchi died and bequeathed to two sons to bury him at the ocean. Both sons drowned, digging a grave.