Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about blondes

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The blonde gave rise to triplets. Examines malyshey:
- At it an aquiline nose - from Gogi. At the second thick cheeks - Tikhon Stepanych who is poured out. And here the third from whom? Here baby krichit:
-"A-a-a-a-a-a-a!!! "
blondinka brightens litsom:
-Of course, my driving instructor!

*****

The blonde with Rublevki:
-to grow thin, the doctor prescribed me daily riding progulku.
-Well and how, already there are results?
-Well and! The horse already grew thin.

*****

The blonde, red and the brunette meet the fairy, and that says to them that will grant any their desire, only if they tell, that they think about themselves if they are wrong, will disappear. The brunette speaks:
-I think, I beautiful!
PUF... and ischezla.
ryzhaya speaks:
-I think, I clever!
PUF... and ischezla.
blondinka speaks:
-I think...
PUF... also disappeared.

*****

The blonde looks in a mirror and speaks:
-I watch, something so familiar face, but I cannot understand who eto.
other the blonde to her otvechayet:
-Well, let's look... Silly woman! It I!

*****

– What the blonde at first does in the morning?
-is represented.

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The blonde gathers for Altay.
-It is necessary to take thongs in a campaign... so still? And, thongs! And still? Oh, precisely thongs!!!
MAT: - The daughter, well you though would take tent...
-of Mothers, will be thongs - there will be both a tent, and a sleeping bag, and everything will be...

*****

The blonde gathers in turpokhod:
-It is necessary to take thongs... so, what? And, thongs! And still? Yes, stringi.
mama thongs will be it speaks:
- The Daughter, well you tent at least Took.
-Mother, - there will be a tent, there will be a sleeping bag, everything will be.

*****

Blonde asks:
-That such participle?
pastor began to explain diligent about a participle everything that it knew. After his explanation the girl, with very loaded person asks:
- And what then an adverbial participle?

*****

The blonde asks programmista:
- And what to do with this program? Establish
- And kryakni.
-Established and You grunted to a nicha not rabotayet.
-as grunted?
-As duck...

*****

The blonde costs in an epicure and drinks milk directly from a package. The old woman approaches it and asks:
-That you, the daughter, it directly in shop drink?
A the girl otvechayet:
-is Right there written to it - to OPEN HERE!

*****

– Why the blonde costs at the escalator And so With astonishment looks?
-Considers steps.

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The blonde wants to have room in provincial hotel on three sutok.
- And when at you give food?
- The Breakfast from seven to eleven, a lunch since midday till three o'clock and the lunch vechera.
- At me remains from seven to nine o'clock so not enough time for survey of the city!

*****

– How the blonde will KILL fish?
-will drown.

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– How the blonde will KILL a bird?
-will Throw it from break.

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The blonde on the street asks:
-Tell, please, what time is it now?
-chetvertogo.
-is strange Fifteen minutes, I ask the whole day, and to me constantly tell different time!

*****

Blondinka:
-I am able to stop time.
-As??? I take out Battery
-from hours.

*****

The blonde at a lesson geografii:
-Israel is a multinational Jewish state!

*****

- Why the blonde drowned, having fallen from pier?
-Because hung the plate "it is FORBIDDEN to FLOAT!".

*****

The blonde gets up in the morning and approaches to oknu.
husband asks:
-What weather today? As I can see
-?
TAM such rain a wall that to make out nothing!

*****

The blonde, the teacher of chemistry shows to pupils a test tube and speaks: I Ask to look at
- At a test tube attentively. In a minute this yellow solution will become green and will become red.

*****

The blonde schoolgirl rushes to the parents who are taking away her ambassador shkoly:
-Mother, mother that all are teased, unless I am a silly woman?
-Of course you are a silly woman, I am a father!

*****

– Why blondes Are not given a lunch break?
-Too long to learn to work them anew.

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– Why blondes like cars With the hatch in a roof?
-is more than place for feet.

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To the blonde surgeons made cranial trepanation. Open a cranium - instead of brains one thin thread. Well, they cut a thread and... at the blonde ears fell off.

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To the blonde in driving school set question :
-As the engine works?
-Is possible by the own words?
-Of course!
-of Vzhzhzhzh, vvzhzhzh, vzhzhzh.

*****

Blondinke:
- The Girl, you get off at the next stop?
-Is not present, I through odnu.
- Then let's change?
-That is I on following, and you - through one?

*****

Do to the blonde operation on a brain. The doctor sees - in the head only one crinkle, and that some strange, long... Thinks: I will cut, I will look for what ona.
razrezal - ears fell off.

*****

The blonde should have glazed a balcony. She called the glazier. A call in dver:
-Who there?
- The Master in a glazing of balconies and okon.
-Well, pass on a balcony, rabotayte.
through fifteen minutes is ringing in dver.
-Who there?
- The Glazier ya.
-So at me already one est.
-So dropped out I.

*****

Surgeons do to the blonde trepanation cherepa.
otkryvayut a cranium - instead of a brain one thin nitochka.
oni a thread cut and at the blonde ears fell off.

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To the blonde in February it was executed 18 let.
-I the full age now! Now I can do everything that I was forbidden by mother! So! First of all I will lick a swing, and then I will put fingers in the socket...

*****

Blondes talk: - And how you think, why by helicopter put such big propeller?
-You that, same the fan, it is necessary for this purpose that the pilot did not sweat!
-Nonsense! You play me!
-Is not present, not nonsense. I flied by helicopter quite recently. And so before the landing, almost at the earth, this propeller suddenly took and ceased to turn! You would see how the pilot sweated at once!

*****

– Why blondes drive BMW?
- They can say it.

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- Why blondes carry a breakfast in transparent packages?
-That to the subway the nobility, you go to work or home.

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- Why blondes during a thunder-storm stand near a window?
-Because they think that them photograph!

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- Why blondes do not eat bananas?
-He can find "lightning".

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- Why blondes do not eat salty cucumbers? The Head in bank does not creep
-.

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– Why blondes do not eat chocolate?
- The Foil in teeth gets stuck.

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- Why blondes are painted with green lipstick?
-means Red color "stop".

*****

– Why blondes eat a little?
-Yes Because constantly sit on a suction.