Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about blondes

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The woman complains podruge:
-My God! What is the time I already go on to the husband that he repaired the crane v
vannoy, and it - zero attention. It is a cap - drip-drip at night - on all apartment it is audible. It is impossible to fall asleep!
-Oh, do not tell! Me too - Niagara Falls in Canada, well simply enrage!

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– When lawfully to Shoot to the blonde at the head?
- When You have a pump Again to inflate it.

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Entries in the daily log at blondinki.
"Plans on zavtra:
1. Isterika.
2. Shopping."

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– How to force the blonde to change opinion?
-to blow it in an ear.

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– How to force the blonde to laugh on Monday in the morning? to tell
-to it a joke on Friday in the evening.

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The blonde and the brunette got stuck in the elevator. The brunette began to bang very much hands and feet anywhere, achieved nothing and soon calmed down. The blonde approached the panel with buttons and struck on it with the head. Doors of the elevator opened. Blondinka:
- The Head should be worked!

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The blonde and the brunette in the elevator got stuck. Well began to call to the aid. Shout: help, help. But shout not at the same time and serially. Well, the brunette and speaks:
-Listen, so nobody will hear us. It is necessary together krichat.
blondinka:
-Together, together!

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Two blondes in the elevator got stuck. Do not know what to do... One speaks drugoy:
- And let's shout together, maybe, we will be heard!... Give
VTORAYA:
-!
OBE:
-TOGETHER! TOGETHER!!!

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Got stuck in the elevator the blonde and bryunetka.
bryunetka oret:
-Pomogite, help!
blondinka:
-Pomogite, help!
bryunetka:
-Davay to shout together, so us quicker uslyshat.
blondinka:
-Vmeste, together, together!

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The blonde comes into a drugstore. Approaches it prodavets-konsultant:
-I can help you? Yes, but at first tell
-to me, whether there is at you a medical education?
-Yes, I graduated from medical institute, pharmaceutical fakultet.
-Without the three?
-C diploma with honors! Well then I am quiet
-. Give me, please, a cotton wool pack.

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The blonde comes into cafe and orders pitsu
- The waiter brings and speaks: "to divide pizza into 4 pieces or on 8? "
blondinka:
-Of course on 4! I 8 will not eat!

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– Why the blonde puts a finger between a nail And a hammer?
-Because knock Of a hammer causes in it a headache.

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– Why the blonde sits at the telephone socket?
-Waits for E-mail from the friend.

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- Why to blondes is one crinkle more, than to horses?
-That when wash the floors, water from a bucket do not saw.

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The blonde came into the plane and villages at okna.
through some time approaches muzhchina:
- The Girl, excuse, this mine mesto
-Really, anything similar!!! To
-Well, then itself take a steering wheel and start flying up!

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One girl (the blonde of course) came into the plane and villages at a window. The man comes and declares (what impudence!) that it it mesto.
ta answers a pier leave the guy and on:
- Then itself take a steering wheel and start flying up!

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The blonde in avtoservis:
"calls And write down me, please, for the evening, I should switch off headlights".

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The blonde calls the husband and speaks:
-Darling, seems to the carburetor of my car got voda.
-As it... and you in general know that such the carburetor? - it is puzzled asks husband .
-A where the car?
-B pool...

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- Hello, with you tells an answering machine. After short beep you can leave the message. Piiiya...
blondinka:
-Call, please, Natasha!

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Know as the blonde will kill a bird?
ONA will throw off it from break!!!

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- You know how to occupy the blonde for 2 hours?
-As? You write
-On one party of a leaf "Overturn" and on another …

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- You know how the blonde intelligently is called?
-Golden retriever! You Know
-how to erase to the blonde memory?
-it Should blow in an ear! You Know
-how cells of a brain and the blonde die?
-B loneliness!

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– You know - the young blonde mother tells the girlfriend - yesterday read in the magazine article Councils to young mothers. there skazano:
kak only the child will stop sucking a horn With milk set up him under the crane With hot water And properly clean ershikom.
-Well And how?
-made EVERYTHING As it is necessary. Also I do not know why He shouted As though him cut.

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- How call the ugly blonde?
-(Shout) "I told: I am drunk!!!"

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- In vain wait, this bus goes only on holidays, - the old woman speaks to the blonde on ostanovke.
- And I have a birthday today.

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There is a blonde down the street: a dress the white, made-up face, etc. and etc..., In the same time the plumber from a manhole gets out, approaches it and wipes hands about it, so white platyishko...
-Uncle!!! You that?! To shit
-A the girl... YOU LOVE?!

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There is a beauty contest. Ha to a scene the leader, the blonde, in a hall her support group - all continuous blondinki.
-So, the last task for intelligence! How many will be twice two?
(after long thoughts): - Five!
-is wrong!
-Give it still chance!
-is fine. How many will be twice two?
(after longer thoughts): - Rub?
-is wrong!
-Give it still chance! Let once again will try!
-is fine. How many will be twice two?
(zzzzz...): - Four...
-Give it still chance! Let will try to guess once again!

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There is a blonde on the market and sees how the man sells stones from yablok.
blondinka: (with a smile) - Well as, somebody buys your stones?
muzhik: (seriously) - Of course, after all stones from apples increase intelligence!
blondinka: (in perplexity) is as?
muzhik: - And here you buy and learn, 200 rubles for desyatok.
blondinka bought ten, ate and speaks:
- The Pancake, I after all for 200 rubles could 10 kg. apples to buy, and there much kostochek.
-Here see, at once poumeli.
-it is (perplexedly) valid, give ten more!

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There is a meeting of the CPRF. The speaker acts: "We speak Party - we mean Lenin
. We tell Lenin
-we mean Party" .
prokhodit by the blonde "Here, here. You always tell one, and mean absolutely another"

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There are a blonde and the brunette on Afrike.
vdrug of bushes directly on them jumps out lev.
bryunetka the handful of sand is enough and throws it into eyes to a lion, then quickly gets on a tree and shouts from it blondinke:
-Give quickly to me on a tree while the lion does not see! What for? I sand to a lion did not throw
blondinka:
-into eyes.

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There are two blondes on the seashore, one another speaks:
-Look, a birdie dead!
vtoraya, looks in nebo:
-Where?

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There are two blondes, see a pocket mirror lies. Lift. One smotrit:
- The person znakomoye.
vtoraya snatches out Something and smotrit:
- The Silly woman, same I.

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There are two blondes on the wood a fir-tree. Hour go... the second... the third...
odnoy bothered and tells ona:
-Everything, Mashk! Now we cut down the first fir-tree even if it is not dressed up!!!

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There are two blondinki.
nashli zerkalo.
odna lifts, the Smotrit:
-familiar face...
VTORAYA:
-Dura. Same I!

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There are two blondes. One and speaks:
-Look, a pigeon dead …
vtoraya, raising the head vverkh:
-Where???

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There are two blondes down the street, one drugoy:
-Oh, look a birdie dokhlaya.
other looks in the sky and speaks:
-Where you saw her?

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– How to choose the silliest from ten blondes?
-to Cast lots...

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From conversation of two blondinok:
-Slysh! Dus and when you make love, you talk?
-NET.
-A why?
Mother always spoke to me - not to talk to unfamiliar men!

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Intelligent blue-eyed blonde 90-60-90-42,57,446,3456,235,432.2... and what I wanted to write?