Jokes about women

Read funny Jokes about blondes

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- Give please ten mousetraps! - the blonde addresses to the seller.
-Why you is so much, after all only yesterday you bought ten?
-Yesterday's are already occupied!

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Two blondes talk on telefonu:
-Well, and what your husband now does?
-Lies in a bed. At it - thirty seven with polovinoy.
-Ooh, you! I envy you, the girlfriend!

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Two blondes talk in a compartment poyezda:
-Surprisingly after all as the driver manages to drive always precisely in a tunnel. I and in garage not always can precisely vjekhat.
-It, probably, because it well knows the road.

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Two blondes stir about mode:
- And here long men's jackets are what the hell! You talk s
muzhchinoy - and you do not see how it concerns you!

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boltayut.
-you Represent two blondes, mine brings every evening me a smart bouquet from roses. You want - You do not want, and feet it is necessary razdvigat.
- And at you that, there is no flower vase?

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Two blondes in accounts department of one large predpriyatiya:
-Well where got lost these programmers?! I urgently need their help, and all of them do not go!
-A you unless caused them?
-A as! I already solid hour press F1!!!

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Two blondes would conduct secular besedu.
-You knew, with what smart guy I got acquainted recently! - the first speaks, - Gentle, affable, and always understands that I want. Even ended special courses of the pickup!
-A that this such - the pickup?
-Well, this ability is correct to treat women. You did not manage even to peep, and ap - at once it appear at it in a bed!

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Two blondes vstretilis:
-You, speak, to theater went with the lover? Well and what was there?
-Tragikomediya.
-is interesting. Rasskazhi.
-We faced my husband. It was too with the mistress.

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Two blondes meet. Long did not see. one speaks:
nu as you live? other modest
- well I went for the husband for the millionaire...
-PRELESTNO!
-I opened 15 restaurants.
-PRELESTNO! I have 5 best cars...
-PRELESTNO!
and you as?
- And I entered institution for young ladies...
as it is interesting! and to that teach there???
da here a place of the word of "NE P*ZDI" to tell "PRILESTNO"!

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Two blondes meet, one drugoy:
-I almost saw yesterday your husband!
-As it?
-U you "Opel" with number 354?
-Yes.
- And so I saw same "Opel" with number 353!!!

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Two blondes walk from a fotoapparatma, look in search of a suitable shot around, fotografiruyut.
odna from them stumbles, falls. The second right there falls ryadom:
- The Excellent foreshortening and what we remove?

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Two blondes long strayed on the wood and at last got out on proseku.
-In my opinion, it is a cervine track, - one told blondinka.
- And I think, it was laid by bears, - objected other.
i only they started arguing as they were hit by the train.

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In dushe:
-Transfer two blondes to me, please, shampun.
-But you have the whole bottle in ruke.
-This for dry hair, and I already wetted them.

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Two blondes got stuck in the elevator. One shouts: Help! Help!
vtoraya: And let's shout vmeste.
pervaya: Davay.
obe: Together! Together! Together!

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Two blondes: - And why in the winter snow drops out, and is not present in the summer? - The silly woman if it dropped out in the summer, it would thaw …

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Two blondes go down the street and see men's clothing shop. One: - Let's come!
-You that, same for men tolko.
- The Silly woman who knows that we are able to read!

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Two blondes bought on a hamster, sit and think how will distinguish them. One speaks:
-Listen, and give I to the hamster one pad the tearaway, at mine will be 3, and at yours 4!
-Oh, what you well done!!
Tak also made, at night to a hamster it became offensive also he otgryz for another a pad. There are blondes in the morning and upset solve as now they will distinguish hamsters. One speaks:
-Listen, and give I to the one more pad I will tear off, at mine will be 2, and at your 3.
-it is exact! They also made
Tak. Well, as a result from hamsters there were one little bodies and heads. Blondes sit and think how now to distinguish hamsters. One and speaks:
-Listen, and give so: wash - white, and yours - black...

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Two blondes fly in the plane. Suddenly light dies away. One speaks:
-Oh, stopped by in the tunnel!

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Two blondes fly in samolyote.
-Oh, look - at the plane wings shiver! Probably, now will fall off!
- The Silly woman, it waves them!

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Two blondes in Los Angeles look at the moon at night. One at another asks:
-Here is how you think, what now the Moon or Miami is closer to us?
vtoraya to it otvechayet:
-You, absolutely perhaps silly woman? Here you see Miami from here?!?

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Two blondes in shop torment prodavtsa:
-me the disk is necessary!
-I is necessary to me a disk!! To
you for what? To
me for fotok.
-A to me for filma.
prodavets gets two pigs and lays down on a counter. Blondes in one golos:
-Tak you to us identical distances!!

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Two blondes discuss personal zhizn:
- At you how many was men?
-Dvoye.
-How many how many? Only? You Understand
-, after the seventh ten I lost count and began anew.

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Two blondes discuss a heavy female share. One persuades druguyu:
-Yes you the good hostess!
A that otvechayet:
-Yes what I am the good hostess - I can induce to do nothing the husband...

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Two blondes. One drugoy:
-I made the test for pregnancy yesterday!!!
-Well and how??? Difficult there were questions???

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Two blondes have a rest in the resort. Speak about the muzhyakh:
- At you it who?
-Businessman. And at you? Definitely I do not know
-, and in general perevodchik.
-From what language?
-with any. To me transfers money.

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Two blondes went to a campaign. Closer by the night they decided to put tent. One speaks:
- The Tent should be put on a roadside dorogi.
-You that, the silly woman? - the second speaks. - It should be put on the middle of the road: there more equal place. And made. The next morning they wake up and see on a roadside the turned truck. The second speaks:
-Here you see! And if we made your way, it would crush us!

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blondinki:
-you Represent two, hot water for a month was disconnected what to do?
- The Silly woman you are a silly woman, I here to myself gathered a bathtub and two basins!

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Two blondes walk in the wood, suddenly see, one more blonde tries to cross a wheat field, hands very much swings, against the earth plants the feet, is shorter - floats... One blonde speaks drugoy:
-Here see, because of such here idiots, about us, blondes, and compose anekdoty.
-Precisely! - another answers - if I was able to swim, I to a knot would drown this.

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Two blondes worked in department on a gradoustroystvo. One dug out a hole, and another went after it and dug in a hole. So they passed along one side of the street, then came over to other side, working with enthusiasm, zealously all day without pereryva.
eto drew attention of the passerby who could not understand in any way, than they are engaged. It approached the blonde who dug a hole with words: "Diligence with which you work and your colleague amazingly! But I not absolutely understand why you dig out a hole, and your workmate digs in it?" .
blondinka, digging out a hole, wiped sweat from a forehead and with a sad sigh answered: "Yes, it is probable, it looks strange because usually we work three together, but today the girl who does landings, ached".

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Two blondes talk at the airport looking at the Boeing 777:
-Listen how such large object is stolen?! Where you will hide it?.-You that silly woman?! They are stolen in the sky, when they small …"

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Two blondes talk at the airport, looking on samolety:
-Darling as to terrorists is possible to abduct planes - look what booolshiye.
-Eh, the little fool - after all they as soon as will rise in the sky - and watch, what maaalenky become.

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Two blondes razgovarivayut:
-That you would like in life?
-Ya would like to meet the fairy and that she presented me hundred thousand dollarov.
- And why not one million?
-Well, one million is is unreal.

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razgovarivayut:
- And you know two blondes, why at the helicopter such big propeller? That the pilot not potel.
-Yes cannot byt.
-I flied by helicopter recently, and suddenly the propeller for a while ceased to spin. You would see how the pilot sweated at once!

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Two blondes talk, one another speaks:
-Listen, you have such beautiful teeth!
-A it I from the grandmother unasledovala.
-Oh as fine that they suited you.

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Two blondes talk about policy. One asks druguyu:
- And you know, who the president of America?
-Is not present, and who? Well at least give
-Dogadaysya.
-podskazku.
-Three letters, the second letter "at".
-However, perhaps?!!

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Two blondes razgovarivayut:
- At me recently some weight in a stomach, feels sick postoyanno.
- And you at the doctor were?
-Was, told eight more months it is necessary to suffer!

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Two blondes got to talking on ostanovke:
-You for what bus wait?
-Ya 4-yy.
-A I 2-oy.
edt the 42nd bus. Blondes horom:
-That's great! Together we will go!

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Two blondes watch advertizing of modern means for pokhudaniya:
"... only our means will help YOU to get rid of unnecessary calories!. "Here I will not understand
-in any way as these tablets distinguish: what calories necessary, and what - no?

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Two blondes stand on a bus stop. One waits for the bus number 2, and the second the bus number 7. The bus number 27 approaches. One of блондинок:
- Oh, cool! Together we will go.