Jokes about love

Read funny Jokes about love

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- Lena, give pogovorim.
-I was very tired, let's dance better.

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Wood. Night. Car. Two have sex. Knock in okno.
- So, population census!

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London. Morning. Fog. Dzhenetlmen approaches a window and tells dvoretskomu:
-a smog Today, John...
-Ya is glad for you, the sir.

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The best contraceptive - a tampon.

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- The best way to calm the woman when she in a hysterics, - the psychiatrist at lecture explains to students, is to kiss ee.
question from zala:
-Tell professor and how it is simpler to bring it to a hysterics?

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- From love at first sight there is a lovely lekarstvo.
- What?
- look for the second time.

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- You love? I Love
-!
-you Marry?
-NET.
-of Slaz...

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The lover from you needs only one, and give to the husband both the first and second and compote.

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The love - a thing ideal, a matrimony - realnaya; real with ideal never passes mixture with impunity.

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- Love is! I was involved in it.

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The love of the evil, love is blind. And also it is deaf and infects with venereal diseases.

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The love of the evil, love is blind. And also it is deaf and infects with venereal diseases.

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The love is to you not just like that, it is necessary to be engaged in it!

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The love is a celebration of imagination over intelligence.

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The loving man and the woman have much in common among themselves but only until this general does not start contradicting each of them.

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The little girl asks at mamy:
-Mother, and it is sick when for the first time you make love?
MAMA, ofonarev from such question, otvechayet:
-I do not know, and what?
-Aha, everything is clear - You adopted me!

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The little little son does not want to sleep. The father to sit down at his bed and starts telling him fairy tales. Tells hour, another. At last in the room votsaryaetsya
tishina. Mother silently slightly opens a door and quietly asks:
-He fell asleep?
-Yes, mother, - whisper answers the son.

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- Mother, mother! - the Little Red Riding Hood told. - I here to the grandmother went through the wood, and there woodcutters, saw my Little Red Riding Hood - and began to solicit and stick to me in every possible way sexually!
MAMA, pulling off from t

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Mother asks the daughter after two months of family life posledney:
-Well how the husband treats you?
-is fine that I will not ask - everything pokupayet.
-Means ask a little!

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Mother is tried on in front of the mirror new shubu.
-by Mother, the father bought it to you? - asks synishka.
-If I hoped for the father, not only fur coats, and you would not exist.

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Mother advises the daughter - neveste:
- The Child, I want to give to you a good advice - never argue with the husband... At once cry!

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- Mash, can coffee?
-Kohl, can at once?

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Mash, maybe, coffee?
-Kohl, maybe, at once?

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- Mashenka, I adore you! I simply go crazy!
-Thank God, at last you started talking, as normal...

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- By the way, I have too 128 jumps. And without parachute. No, I am not a paratrooper. I am the professional lover.

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- You love me?
-UGU.
-Well means to an ug? Why you tell
-Lyublyu.
-A so as if you want to get off?
-B sense?
-Well means I love?
-A that it your way means?
-In my opinion it means - otstan.
-I do not understand, what you want?
-

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The dead silence came at garrison movie theater when on the screen the beautiful heroine discharged the gun in the incorrect lover. Having turned facing the audience, she asked, breaking ruki:
-My God, what now to do to me?
-to Examine the weapon and to return on an initial boundary, - the commander voice from hall depth was distributed.

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The dead silence came at garrison movie theater when on the screen the beautiful heroine discharged the gun in the incorrect lover. Having turned facing the audience, she asked, breaking ruki:
-My God, what now to do to me?
-to Examine the weapon and to return on an initial boundary, - the commander voice from hall depth was distributed.

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- Darling, but after all earlier everything was in a different way! More brightly, more deeply, is more unrestrained! More long, at last!
-Well that you wanted - the first marriage night, after all.

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- Darling, you love me? That I your way do
-A?!

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- Darling, where are you?
-Ya on okhote.
- And who it there nearby snuffles?
-Is a bear.

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- Darling, kiss me. Ah, as well … And now spit out a cigarette and try once again …

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- Darling, - she whispered, - and you will love me after a wedding?
ON thought and otozvalsya:
-For certain a little. I always preferred to love married women.

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- To me, please, a pack of condoms, a bottle of champagne and chupa-chups.
- And chupa - chups what for?
-For pleasure.

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- Can you imagine such impudence? For five years, I wrote her love letters ...
- And then?
- And then she married the postman.

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- It is possible - whether to have sex during pregnancy?
- Of course, and from where at children on cheeks of a dimple undertake?

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The very young conventual on a confession admits svyashchenniku:
-Now so hot therefore I under outerwear do not put on any belya.
- The Sin is small. Few times you will read to Pater Noster", few times "virgin", and ten bows to the ground on the road from a confessional to an exit.

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Newlyweds agree: It: If I leave a bathtub also a cap on the left - that is impossible for me today and if to the right - that I do not want!!!
ON: Well. And if I from a bathtub vykho

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Newlyweds agreed to make love only on those days weeks in which there is a letter "r". The husband from work tired comes somehow, and the wife let's solicit to him. He also asks it:
-Lovely, and what today day?
-Ponedrelnik! - she answers.