Jokes about men

Read funny Jokes about men

<** Previous Topic          Next Topic **>

242  243  244  245  246  247  248  249  250  251  252  253

- That again lips are exposed to the wind?
-Weather and devki.
-It as? The Maid's
-so put on that passing by oblizyvayeshsya.
a on the street a wind...

*****

The more the woman has a breast and the decollete is deeper, the it is heavier to remember to the man color of her eyes.

*****

Than talk of men differs from talk of women? The Woman's
-discuss the future men with girlfriends, and men discuss the former women with friends...

*****

What is the real fatigue?
-It when you enter the room - a there on a bed lies the naked queen of beauty .
TY approach it, undress, dump it nakh@y from a bed - and lay down to sleep...

*****

To prove to the girl that you have serious intentions, right after the first appointment acquaint her with parents, the wife, children...

*****

- I witnessed yesterday how the man in a homespun coat and in valenoks, with the kiyom came to billiards club, and cut all rolled under orekh.
- And in what a success secret? He the axe played
-...

*****

- I'm terribly sexy! I used to wash in the shower - to me even blind stick.

*****

- I love Vadik, because in a situation when it is necessary to tell: "You are such silly woman!", he speaks: "You are such darling..."

*****

- I can tempt easily 100% of girls, here look. Hey, the beauty, you want me?
-NET.
-Oh, statistical error.

*****

- I when worry, me on the salty pulls...
- When you, Lyusya, on the salty pulls, I start worrying...

*****

- I met you on a meadow and the verse wanted to you rasskazat.
no to hell a rhyme and flowers, give at once to business!

*****

- My angel! You talked to the parents about me? They agree to give you to me in the wife? Yes, I told
-to them vse.
- And how they? I know
-He. The father is silent so far, and mother waits until he speaks to express directly opposite opinion.

*****

In a rich family there was a daughter the plain woman, to it the guy started going, and once mother found young people tseluyushchimisya.
ona strictly told parnyu:
-I Hope, you do it with serious intentions?
-A as you think? Not because of pleasure!

*****

In marriage agentstve:
- The Young man, what you wish?
-Ya? Magnificent blonde!!!
-OK! No problem! Consider that especially for you already otkarmlivayem
i we recolour!

*****

In club the guy girl:
-Devushka, and went to me?
devushka:
-A what for?
Well... we will watch the film?
Неее, here one guy offered sex to me, I am better to it I will go!)

*****

In shop the guy takes a pack of condoms (15 pieces) Asks to give a chocolate still. Reaction of the seller is ingenious: looks at condoms, then compassionately on shokolad:
-Paren, for one chocolate you will not be given so much!

*****

In magazine.
-Advise, what it is best of all to present to the 17-year-old guy?
-18-year-old girl.

*****

In a bed the man and the woman after that lie...
zheshchina asks ego:
"you incidentally not anasteziolog? "
muzhchina with astonishment otvechayet:
" As you guessed? "I felt nothing
" A!"

*****

In steam bed. Have a rest. And here the guy thoughtfully so vydayet:
- And you know... at us with you probably not lyubov.
- And what?
-Well... easy flirt.
ona, rising, gnevno:
-you Know that, darling, till your two months in an ass is "little flirtation"?

*****

- Vas! And you to me looked after somebody? Da's
-! In the village behind cattle!

*****

The guy with devushkoy.
-It meets not you danced on a table in one underwear last night?
-you, probably, early left.

*****

Two meet devushki:
-yesterday so much time with the guy wasted!
What guy? Not to lift a
Chain in a finger, a purse!
-A there as? Too - in a finger and not to lift
Da …

*****

Two meet druga:
-Represent, I yesterday from Lenkaya tselovalsya.
-Well here, and said that do not drink.

*****

Two in a bed have a rest after hours-long games... ON:
-you Know, to me it is so good! I want that so was vsegda.
-Yes, and I too...
-seems to me, we should reflect on that somehow to connect our relations boleekrepky bonds...
ONA, enthusiastically: - Yes, darling?!!
ON, after a pause: - Give with you we will be photographed!!!

*****

Two in the cozy apartment, on the street magnificent weather, vecher.
ona:
-Can we will walk, in park we descend...
ON:
-A that - here is impossible?

*****

Girls! If you sit in the subway and on the contrary you the charming young man and does not take eyes with you, - relax, simply behind your back there is a scheme of the subway.

*****

The girl speaks parnyu:
-Wan, you such clever, resourceful! You know so many stories, with you so interestingly always!
-Mash... yes I normal, it is simple you the silly woman!

*****

The girl speaks parnyu:
-You such cool when you drink! When I drink
- And you anything …

*****

The girl speaks parnyu:
-Darling, I want to be as a Swiss watch: expensive, desired and that I was carried on hands!
-A you remember, what a Swiss watch never breaks?

*****

Devushka:
-Of what you think, darling?
PAREN:
-about anything, expensive...
ONA (joyfully):
-I I about anything!!!
ON (sad):
-is easier for You, you have no brains …

*****

The girl calls the guy on mobilnyy.
devushka:
-Hi, where are you?
PAREN:
-Hi, I go to a dermatovenereal clinic... To come for you?

*****

Girl to darling young cheloveku:
-I am cold! Shiver
-, you will not sweat yet!!!

*****

- You the guy have a girl?
-NET.
-As? Such beautiful, clever girl also has no guy?
-Died, a bough, from happiness.

*****

The girl - parnyu:
-As you think - I can be loved?
PAREN:
-... I think, yes. YOU WAIT for
devushka:
-SO of THAT???

*****

Devushka-parnyu
-Snimi my blouse... I Snimimoit a skirt... Take off my stockings... More moron smelly, do not dare to put on my things!

*****

The girl asks the parnya:
-Why, you are men, so often speak about a cocksucking, and about a cunnilingus - word
NI?
-Yes somehow language does not turn …

*****

Disco. The young man invites the girl tantsevat.
tantsuyut, dance, suddenly the girl sprashmvayet:
-you that, the young man, Blend-a-medom use?
-Yes, and what, teeth white?
-Yes, is not present. Eggs firm …

*****

Daughter this guy orphan and ktomuzha it lame. Do not marry him zahusband .
a to me it is not necessary krasavits.
ya not about that. Regret the guy, to him and so from life got.

*****

- Daughter, this guy orphan, besides it lame. Do not marry him zahusband .
- And I do not need krasavets.
-Me not about that. Regret the guy, to him and so got from life.