Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Medvedev

<** Previous Topic          Next Topic **>

407  408  409  410  411  412  413  414  415  416  417  418

Speak, Medvedev was disappointed in "Rastishka".

*****

2008. Just elected Russian President Dmitry Medvedev caught the Goldfish and made three wishes: Bilan's victory on "Eurovision", a victory over Canadians in hockey, a victory over Dutches in soccer. The small fish executed everything and asks: "And why so strange desires? Usually tsars and presidents ask to win war, new to build the capital, great to make the state". Medvedev: "And what, it was possible?!!!"

*****

2008. Medvedev hauls up the prime minister on the carpet and otchityvayet:
-Badly work, Vladimir Vladimirovich! Do not implement the plan... What
- plan? That you do not know
-A!

*****

Year 2023. Putin and Medvedev with heavy boduna.
putin:
-wake up And you do not remember, who from us today the president, and who the prime minister?
medvedev:
-Yes what na a difference, well let I will be premyer.
putin:
-Well, time you are executive power, to you and behind beer to run.

*****

2028. Putin calls Medvedev: "Dim, I something absolutely got confused: who from us for the following term stands?"

*****

2036.... Putin and Medvedev in the Kremlin sit thump... Putin asks Medvedev: Dim...., and today we have who the president?
medvedev: pancake., I do not remember... There were both in a corridor, looked at the plate on a door.....
medvedev: The Second World War, sednya you are a president... Putin: Means to you Dy behind beer to run!

*****

- Mister the President, CIA has information on the Russian espionage network, but it is kept so well dark that we cannot contact one agent. What to us to undertake?
-Robert, will arrive Medvedev, push to it an abrupt mobile phone and trace calls.

*****

D. A. Medvedev became the head, the first in the history of our country who was not accusing the predecessor of all troubles of Russia. V. V. Putin, perhaps, will become the second...

*****

- Let's compare Gorbachev and Medvedev's times: There was "reorganization", and now "modernization" of ; Was "conversion", and now "nanotechnologies" of ; there was "Gaidar", and now "Kudrin"...
- So: changed nothing for the better?
- Is not pre

*****

Dual-core processors appeared in the 2nd half of the 2000th years. And D. A. Medvedev who appeared then on the president's post simply confirmed once again that dual-core processors are expensive and useless show off which one kernel always stays idle and with a clever look waits until to it the main EDRO allows to work...

*****

On December 31 by midnight the New Year's address poluprezidenta
medvedeva to the semi-people of Russia took place …

*****

Day (the next day after elections)
zapreshcheny:
kartiny: Morning in the pine wood, Preved of the medical Veda!
skazki Teremok, Missile defense vershoks and backs, Three bear, Winnie Pu (x) and all everything vse.
konfety Mishka clumsy, Mishka on severe.
igrushki Plush mishka.
vse circus numbers with participation medvedey.
kak parties inappropriate to the general line and discrediting honor of the president.

*****

To deputies of the State Duma operations on sewing of the second language are free of charge performed. Now they will be able to lick at the same time two backs: Putin and Medvedev.

*****

The announcer on TB:
- You, of course, will laugh, but the president Medvedev again made the promise in everything to understand and punish the guilty...

*****

The demon, close rotation! And you will not notice that how otrotirut you without waiting for inauguration!

*****

- Dmitry Anatolyevich, the army rebelled! Speak: the tsar - not real!

*****

Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev decided to create, council for fight against corruption, for forecasts of professionals to receive a place in council, it is necessary to build not less than two million dollars.

*****

- Dmitry Anatolyevich, tell, and it was difficult to be the Russian President?
- Well you, I at school theater played in due time a shadow role ottsa
gamleta and after that was to play a role of a shadow of the Russian President absolutely ne
trudn

*****

- Dmitry Anatolyevich, why did not take place modernization of the country?
- It's your problem if modernization does not live up to your expectations ...

*****

Dmitry Anatolyevich went down to cellars of the Kremlin. And here he saw dva
zelenykh eyes, burning in temnote.
-Oh, a rat, - with a fright told on.
-you are a rat, - Putin.
golos took offense

*****

Dmitry Medvedev gave an assignment to Russians to meet New god.
teper though one its assignment exactly will be executed.

*****

Dmitry Medvedev brought the blog to LJ. Now he is LJ Dmitry …

*****

Dmitry Medvedev visited bakery combine. Employees pleasantly surprised him with the rolls.

*****

Dmitry Medvedev told at the next meeting with voters that very well understands music and especially show business. It seems that it is all the term and acted under plywood...

*****

Dmitry Medvedev in the USA. Business reached a meeting with the governor of Kalifornii.
rukopozhatiye, flash of blitz, press microphones... And here the governor of California said strange mechanical golosom:
-to me your clothes, the weapon and natural gas are necessary...

*****

Dmitriy Medvedev at a meeting with students of MSU told that is ready to die for the ideals. So Putin will hardly return winter time, and that after all then to his friend certain death...

*****

Issued to Dmitry Medvedev the certificate of the candidate in prezidenty.
krome all other, it grants the right for a free pass in the subway.

*****

The United Russia suggests to give to Putin the rank of "The honourable president of Russia". It means that on the even president there will be Putin, and on odd - Medvedev.

*****

Yeltsin - we play tennis,
putin - we are engaged in fight,
medvedev - we suck a paw.

*****

- Yeltsin - 189 cm, Putin - 176 cm, Medvedev - 162 cm...
- Seems, red with the nanotechnologies after all works...

*****

Yeltsin - 189 cm, Putin - 176 cm, Medvedev - 162 cm. Such feeling that presidents of Russia were selected by producers of nested dolls.

*****

If on successors of thinkers the nature has only a rest, on successors of governors it simply scoffs.

*****

If someone needs to tell something to me, I am ready to meet them, - told Medvedev.
-did not understand, - oppositionists stared at the lidera.
- And what here to understand? - Where hosh, speaks, I will find, and I will cut a throat...

*****

If Prokhorov - a walking joke, Medvedev - a walking aphorism.

*****

The wife muzhu:
-Explain to the son a word meaning "formally" .
husband :
- And on the example of Medvedev and Putin it is possible?

*****

Zhurnalisty:
-Dmitry Anatolyevich, tell, what song of the Russian platform is pleasant to you most of all?
- Prunes and prisms! - Medvedev answered and reflected, but whether he said too much something...

*****

For scientific and practical work How to go to the third term without changing the Constitution of the Russian Federation, candidates of jurisprudence Putin V. V. and Medvedev A. M. need to appropriate doctor's degree.

*****

For the birth of the second child Putin allocated 250 tysyach.
za the birth of the third child Medvedev promised will give out zemlyu.
za the birth of the fourth will give avtomobil.
za the fifth will give kvartiru.
za the sixth will give a country house on kurorte.
za the seventh to give private samolyot.
i only after the birth of the eighth, at last, will offer a place in detskom
sadu. For the second child.

*****

Tomorrow the new era in jokes will begin. For now we check archives: what is at us about Dmitry Anatolyevich today? About "preved, the medical Veda" - will not be. Here some other, in a chronological order.