Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Putin

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Only fakty.
neskolko days back Putin met football fans. Poobeshchal
vernut and reported winter time (that not at night to watch the English championship),
vozvratit beer at stadiums (forbidden by Medvedev) that sam
vypivayet on three liters of beer a day!
segodnya VCIOM reported that Putin's rating rose by 9%.

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Labor gift. To birthday of V. Putin railroad workers izvestnoy
stantsii the Moscow Classifying section renamed it in Moscow-Sortirvovochnaya.

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- Here showed as Putin went by the Volga. With the metropolitan Kirill...
- Well, ordinary people of an icon klet

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You for whom on Putin's elections will vote?

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Dima Medvedev has a birthday. To it his best friend Vova Putin on a visit came and presented it a beautiful t-shirt with figure six on a back.

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- What's with the face of Putin?
- to the gallery paddle entered - rowed bad ....

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Putin has no dream. It and so already Putin.

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- Why Putin has so many bodyguards?
- Alone, they are afraid of him ...

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At Putin were curious: "You watch creation of civil society? "
- " I anybody do not watch ten years..."

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Putin V. V. has a meeting with Kasyanov M. of
zvonit to Putin the President of the Coca-Cola company and speaks:
-Vladimir Vladimirovich, here returned the old Anthem USSR, so maybe fla
gkrasnenky we will return. Let's mark there in a corner like "Coca-Cola" and we to you vse
problemy will solve the financial: let's pay debts, we will heat Primorye and t. of
putin having clamped a tube rukoy:
-Mischa, at us the contract with "AquaFresh" comes to an end soon?

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At Putin sprosili:
-Vladimir Vladimirovich, tell, and it is the truth, what you were sent us by the Lord? Me anybody cannot send
- anywhere. I send!

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Putin has no supporters, there are only accomplices.

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Dear readers! Nearly an every day we, Russian tvorcheskaya
inteligention, post on one joke about Putin here. Unfortunately,
vse of KGB votes on -2, though jokes very ridiculous, after all they pro
putinskuyu the power. Please, vote +2, or at least davayte
sozdadim committee 2007 and we will vote +2 for our jokes about Putin to tomu
godu. Spasibo.
p.s. Boris Abramovich! Please, perevedty money for 5 poslednikh
anekdotov, and that very much wants to be eaten, and seriously about Putin delat
nichego we are not able...

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Dear Vladimir Vladimirovich! From one your phrase rose in the market of a stock of such large company, as Yukos. You though could not tell the word to my husband impotent man?

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Decree of the president: On the first of April and all the rest not to publish the resolution on privileges to pensioners, and that will guess...

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The Defender of the Fatherland Day is renamed on February 23 by Putin's decree into Day of the defender Edinstva.

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The personal adviser to the president Putin died. And though during lifetime as the adviser it was not really, to Putin it was nice, the president always trusted it, and this death became Berezovsky is suitable for it real tragediyey.
na a funeral to Putin and Mister president whispers to it on ushko:
-, maybe, I will be able to take a place of your personal adviser?
- Of course, can, only you should hurry: it is already dug in.

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Old Zhirinovskiy.
-dies Tell, from LDPR all came to say goodbye to me?
- Yes, yes. Party for you, all tut.
- And opposition too here?
- Yes, both Kasparov and Khodorkovsky, - all prishli.
- And communists too here?
- Yes, came with Kaganovich's portraits and Trotskogo.
zhirinovsky catches for golovu:
- And who in the Duma then remained? Putin with United Russia party members??? Understand
-, Putin too here. Do not worry, all the here...
zhirinovskiy:
-of Hypermarket... And this Jewish boy who published on 1jj.ru trite jokes pro
menya and Putin, too here? How, you bit, it? Dima Medvedev?
- Yes. A week ago he was released together with Khodorkovsky in chest
tridtsateletiya Putin's prezidenstvo...

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Approved the bulletin on prezentsky elections, the choice such alternativ:
1 is necessary. Vladimir
2. Vladimirovich.
3. Putin.
4. Against all I have nothing.

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Morning, on September 11, 2001, 8-30, Mister Bush is ringing in White Dome.
putin:
-, accept my sincere condolences in connection with sluchivsheysya
tragediyey national scale and the huge victims... Forgive to
BUSH
-, Vladimir Vladimirovich, you about what?
.... pause....
PUTIN:
-A-a-a, devil, again the watch is fast...

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Uchitel:
tak, rag absolutely dry. Go and as we are taught by companion Putin, kill her with a toilet!

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The Federal Tax Police Service of the Russian Federation under the leadership of the Russian President V. V. Putin developed new game for the Russian oligarchs billionaires: "How to become the millionaire!"

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Photo exhibition "Kremlin Today" .
fotografiya 1. Putin in telnyashke.
vnizu the signature: The president inspects Pacific flot.
fotografiya 2. Putin in kaske.
vnizu the signature: The president inspects Magnitogorsk shakhty.
fotografiya 3. Instead of the photo the plate: "It is withdrawn by the press service" .
vnizu the signature: Putin at plant of rubber products.

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Fradkov of Putinu:
-Vladimir Vladimirovich, on nanotechnologies we lagged behind the developed countries of the world almost on 50 let.
-Anything. Dogonim.
-we Will catch up, of course. But a problem that nanotechnologies are only 20 years old.

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FSB of Russia spends a new game show "BEHIND BARS - 2". Are invited igroki
gusinsky and Berezovsky. A prize - the permit to Solar Magadan on 15 let.
speshite, the offer is valid before the termination of term of the president Putin.

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It is good to be in Russia the prime minister: Lada-Kalina does not break, are expensive equal everywhere, traffic jams never happens.

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It is good to have such cashier as Abramovich, Putin thought, sitting in Kremle.
khorosho to have such security guard as Putin, Abramovich thought, sitting in Londone.
khorosho to have such security guard as Putin and such cashier as Abramovich,
dumal Boris Nikolaevich, sitting in Barvikha...

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Want to learn, how many still V. Putin is going to be the president of the country?
vzglyanite is specified the back of his official portraits which are on sale in magazinakh.
tam "An expiration date: without restriction"...

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Huyushki to you, but not Kunashir! - told Japanese Vladimir the island Putin.
i of Huyushki from the Kuril ridge had to be given.

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The official who bought Vladimir Putin's portrait in shop could not answer where it put the previous.

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It is pure Russian razgovor
-to You Putin is pleasant?
- VERY MUCH!
-A for whom voted?
- For Zyuganov, I always for it golosuyu.
-???
- Because I in soul the monarchist...

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Whatever you may say, and Putin is responsible for words and promises keeps!
obeshchal to double GDP by 2008, and it is exact, doubled! Call
vtorogo GDP Dmitry Medvedev.

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What is the pluralism?
ETO when opinion of the Russian prime minister not sovpadayet
s opinion of the acting president.

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What is the Russian Democracy?
ETO when all decisions are made by One most important democrat.

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What is two cases, two ends, and in the middle - the boy?
ETO Vladimir Putin on mountain skiing.

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That uyest opposition, Putin with Medvedev decided to organize and head March milliardov.
v the city hall of Moscow the application for 20 participants from the list Forbes is already submitted. Special the guest - Roman Abramovich. Protection from the population will be carried out by a division of the FSO and air defense.

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- Whether you feel, what your dreams come true?
- Of course, I am very happy!
- Career prospects, medical care?
- Everything, all is good!
-A where you so hurry? Suitcases to collect
-. I the visa to America was given!!!!

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Shevarnadze (Sh) is besenut with Putin (P)
Sh - I already brought an order!!!
P - to an ug....
Sh - and warmly already in houses!
P - to an ug...
Sh - and light on stadium provel
p - to an ug.....
Sh -... hear..... return the passport, and......

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There was Putin on Tverskoy Boulevard and saw Zhirinovsky. Crept and goes behind. By going bow to Putin, and Zhirinovsky thinks - emu; rejoices. Vishnyakov passed - bowed, Zyuganov, Titov - bow, Govorukhin passed - laughed and the handle made hi - too pleasantly, Pamfilova - a curtsey. Then Putin left to Berezovsky tea to drink. And here towards Yavlinsky, young still was, without beard, in epaulets. Also did not look even. Zhirinovsky wrote then in dnevnike:
"All politicians good, and Yavlinsky - the boor. Patamushto of columns."