Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about Yanukovych

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Somewhere at the beginning of the 80th. Walesa gets acquainted with Yanukovichem:
-Lech Walesa, the electrician from Gdansk!
-Victor Yanukovych, the miner from Donetsk!
- That a piece of coal is cut?
- Not - and, bucks!

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Speak, in Brussels it was possible to buy tickets two days ago: to look at Yanukovych - 20 euros, to listen as Yanukovych speaks Ukrainian - 50 euros.

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- Speak, many officials have false diplomy.
-Vot times changed. Perhaps, once Yanukovych bought two criminal records to promote.

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- Speak, the security guard who attacked the journalist of STB, will not work in protection prezidenta.
-Estestvenno any more. After all he was promoted and now he will put Yanukovych to bed.

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Speak if to call Yanukovych on a mobilka, you uslyshite:
- The Subscriber temporarily is out of a zone.

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Speak, Yanukovych and Yushchenko still argue on results of elections. One considers that the people did not want to see the president the cook, and another - a bomzhikha.

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2014, there passed ten years as in Ukraine chose Yanukovych. All country in ruins. Over the former Donetsk the helicopter flies. Under it ruins, big fires etc.
B light of a searchlight, through a smoke is visible that from under ruins of the house the foot looks out.
vertolet goes down, rescuers leave it and pull out from under the fragments crippled, but live man.
sprashivayut: you are able to read, write? Yes, he answers. Then to its Kiev!

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Mister Yanukovych! You called Chekhov the great Ukrainian poet. And what you will tell about Gogol? - Well... Gogol - my favourite search site...

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Two of Kharkov "observers" voted on the polling precinct.

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Yanukovych from Novoazovsk goes to Donetsk. It was required to it to call urgently on a mobile phone. Dials number, and the mobile phone does not work. He angry, out of himself orders drove to go to Donetsk central office of Ums.Priyezzhayet, comes, and the day off, towards to it the young boy, the manager. Yanukovych oret:chto for a hogwash why I am a prime minister not mogu
pozvonit, from where to me it is necessary!?
menedzher is frightened an opravdyvayetsya:viktor Fedorovich, understand at nas
s the equipment everything normally, well … well … well can you in a zone not were …
who I am in a zone was not!?

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Yanukovych on the village on avtomobile.
ne goes having fitted into turn, with a bumper hits the old woman in zad.
s to a perepug runs to apologize and offer the old woman money. The grandma learns who it and from money otkazyvayetsya.
togda it with nadezhdoy:
-Vote for MENYA;
NA that babka:
-Milok, you in an ass hit me, but not on the head!

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The wife approaches Yanukovych: "Vityunechka, I here now will tell something to you, only you do not fall, well? I to you made fried eggs".

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The journalist at Yanukovicha:
-As you think, you will become the president of Ukraine? You will be chosen?
yanukovich:
- The President I will become, but me not vyberut.
zhurnalist:
-As it? Where you saw
yanukovich:
-A that chose a pakhan?

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The journalist asks at a press conference Victor Yanukovicha:
-Victor Fyodorovich, tell what you love transfers?
yanukovich:
-Nu-u-u-u … cigarettes, tea …

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Task in sociology for school students of an average vozrasta:
kogda in Yanukovych threw Egg he understood that nationalism it bolezn.
askssya: that it is necessary to throw in Yanukovych that he understood chto
1 administrative resource is bolezn
2 pre-election hypocrisy is bolezn
3 bandits in power is bolezn
4 oligarchical economy is bolezn
5 not free mass media are an illness.

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The Zamoskvoretsky district court of Moscow removed from the citizen Yanukovych V. F. two congratulations of V. V. Putin due to the lack of structure of a congratulation.

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The western Ukraine was always a tough nut, And now became famous also for strong eggs...
viktor Yanukovych

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Meeting of Kabmina.
yanukovich - to Kirpa: "That all trains were recoloured in blue color. Clearly!?"
kremenyu: "That all school students and students put on a blue uniform. Clearly!?"
TUT comes Omelchenko. And all neigh. It:" In what a problem?" Yes here to you a task all orange leaves in Kiev to recolour
- in blue color.

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Why Valuyev came to Kiev?
- Can it asked the to scare away a type of protesters?
- Well! One look and Yanukovych can scare away all.

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The statement of Kuchmy:
posle of successful special operation of SDPU(O) on introduction in campaign headquarters Viktor Yushchenko of Alexander Zinchenko reciprocal special operation of the Our Ukraine block on introduction was carried out to campaign headquarters of Victor Yanukovych of Taras of Chornovola.
takim in a way, the score 1:1.

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The statement of the prime minister of Ukrainy:
-in Ukraine exists Now only three real presidential candidates: Yanukovych, Victor Fedorovich and I

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In vain laugh at Yanukovych who went to Greece in the middle of crisis and mass demonstrations.
for of the Greek authorities will be invaluable its experience of reduction of privileges poor, an otgorazhivaniye of parliament a high fence, a ban of any demonstrations and landing of oppositionists for damage of paving slabs!

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Yanukovych on a zone plays the field of wonders. Pakhan=yakubovich the Question - zhenskiy
polovoy body from 5 bukv.
yanukovich: Here or the zalupa without one letter is stupid with an excess letter, or.

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From the sources which are credible the maintenance of 621 volumes given to the Supreme Court of Ukraine "" a national primetist"" N. Shufrich became known. In them the national signs saying that V. F. Yanukovych has to become the president of Ukraine are thoroughly painted!!!

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From news: "The president of Ukraine congratulated Nguyen Tang Zunga on re-election for a position of the prime minister of Vietnam and Chion Tang Sang and to the chairman of National Assembly Nguyen Xin Hongg gave a greeting to the president of Vietnam". From what time he made it, is not specified.

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- Izya, you heard, their prime minister Yanukovych - too sidel.
-you tell Sho? Just like Yosya Brodsky!
- of Izya, I beg you, do not confuse charisma to fried eggs...

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- What difference between Yakubovich and Yanukovych?
-U one "Field of wonders", at another - the Country of fools...

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What member of nonexistent Californian university is Victor Fedorovich Yanukovych - such and from it professor.

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The presidential candidate of Ukraine Yanukovych published the biography, in chastnosti:
"I nearly rolled in the childhood"
"Shit does not sink!" - Ukrainians were afflicted.

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The candidate for president of Ukraine, the former recidivist Victor Yanukovych with skill promised cardinal correction, updating and expansion of corrective system.

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Kiev. There is Yanukovych with the suite on the Khreshchatyk. Suddenly sees: nearby the elderly woman podskalzyvatsya and falls on asphalt. He runs up to it, lifts and with a careful look starts shaking off. Well and taking an opportunity persuades to vote for it. Zhenshchina:
-Victor Fyodorovich, I a bottom hit, but not the head!

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Kiev, Maidan. The man gets stuck in a traffic jam. Suddenly knock in a window. Lowers glass and asks, che nado.
-Understand, terrorists took the president Yanukovych hostage and demand 10 million dollars repayment, differently they will pour over it gasoline and will set fire. We decided to pass on cars, who how many dast.
-Well... I - liters 5...

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Kiev, fall 2004. The old grandma, crossing the road, it poskalzyvatsya and falls. By Yanukovych on the jeep passes. Sees the lying grandma, dumayet:
"I Will leave, I will help to get up, there will be cool pre-election public relations". Then lifts it, his grandma blagodarit.
b: Oh, thanks the sonny, did not pass by - helped starukhe.
ya: Yes there is nothing, the grandma. And you, by the way, know who I am?
B: I know how not to know - You everywhere are shown now. Yanukovych you, the candidate in prezidenty.
ya: So, the grandma, for me you will vote?
B: God with you, the sonny, I fell on a bum, not on the head!

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Peasants - on the earth, workers - on factories, Jews - in banks, friends - in Supreme Sovet.
yanukovich of V. F.

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Levochkin tells Yanukovichu:
-Victor Fedorovich, grandmas came!
- Class! The next tranche from the IMF?
- Well, unfortunately. Old women demand increase of pensions.

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- Lyudmila Yanukovych refused to carry out functions of the first lady!
-A Anna Hermann - no!

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The small little shop belonging to my acquaintances (Kharkov) .
vkhodit the representative company at once with poroga:
-Hang up at yourself in Yanukovych's show-window!
- Is not present, I do not support yours kandidata.
-We will report in district executive committee, it is necessary to you?
- So, what you asked there?
- Hang up Yanukovych!
- is good, soap and a rope yours, well and the candidate bring...
tovarishchi with crimson faces silently were developed and left.

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Medvedev with a sour mine speaks to the patriarch of Kirillu:
-Vy know that I go to inauguration to Kiev. And your arrival to Kiev will distract attention from me. From the point of view of PR it a nonsense!
Внемли, my son, to the pastor's voice! It you go to be advertized, and to me Yanukovych suggested halturku-to sing to him a hosanna on a kingdom yes at the same time and to pokropit corners on the Bank ambassador Yushchenko sacred water!

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Mezhigorye for Yanukovych is not a symbol of corruption, it is control purchase...