Jokes about Rzhevsky

Read funny Jokes about Rzhevsky

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- Misters, all cards yes cards! But whether not to go to us to theater?! There segodnya
dayut "Three sisters"!
poruchik Rzhevskiy:
-O! Ingeniously! Us just three!

*****

- Misters, recently I came to a balcony and all ladies fell in obmorok.
- The Lieutenant, and in what you were dressed?
-Ya was in a gentleman's suit: cylinder, butterfly, eye-glasses and condom...

*****

- Misters we will talk about small fishes! At the lieutenant Rzhevsky such h@y that in one aquarium does not vlazit!

*****

The countess on a ball to drunk in drabagan Rzhev which stirs up already the second chas:
- The Lieutenant why you do not observe moral?
-? I tell
-Ya why you did not observe moral?
-?
-Ya is sure that you also will not be blyu. blyu. blyu.

*****

Group sex. Tens pottering-about bodies. The lieutenant Rzhevsky and speaks:
-Misters creeps out of this heap, let's be defined at last, and I already at two sucked away that.

*****

The lady with sobachkoy.
navstrechu the lieutenant of Rzhevskiy.
-walks be not afraid, it not angry, not kusayetsya.
-of Anything, - answers Rzhev, is a business reparable, - and sticks a doggie with a tsigarka into a mug.

*****

The lady with a doggie walks. The lieutenant Rzhevsky, having seen them, promolvil:
-What it lean! Skin yes kosti.
dama, having turned back, vozrazhayet:
-It is such breed, mister poruchik.
-What horror! At you, madam, all in a sort such dead?

*****

Walked somehow Rzhev at a party, got drunk and krichit:
- And now let's bath horses in champagne!
EMU answer, the pier you that Rzhev, failed from an oak, neither money nor champagne. Then give
- though beer we will pour over a dog...

*****

Rostovoy.
- The Lieutenant walk on the garden Rzhev with Natasha, guess a riddle: big, black, about what eggs byyutsya.
-Who you offended Foo's Sedlo.
-what you the vulgar person, - in tears Natasha.
vstrechayet papenku.
-escaped from it, Natashenka?
- Ah, father, Rzhev such vulgar person. I to it asked a riddle, and it all on platitude perevodit.
-That for a riddle, the daughter?
- Big, black, about what eggs byyutsya.
-So this saddle, dochenka.
-Well, father, it skovorodka.
-is original, a frying pan and on eggs.

*****

Hussars play billiards, on a billiard table at them the maid lies and they to her in turn in p@z@du
shary exhaust, here the lieutenant Rzhevsky and speaks:
-Companions, your mother suddenly comes, sho you do, it still oteb@t it is possible!!!!
- Well here, - hussars thought, - Rzhevsky came and perversions began!!!

*****

Hussars have a rest, drink port, have fun with maids. Suddenly hear that on a ladder podnimayetsya
pyany Rzhevskiy.
-Well here is how always, now will come Rzhev and all oposhlit.
zakhodit Rzhev and speaks:
-By the way about women...
TUT are enough it and throw out in okno.
-It is a pity that because of such swine glass razbili.
rzhevsky vlazit through okno:
-By the way about glass. My cousin the member pricked glasses.

*****

Hussars thought up a new type of billiards, all rules to a tezha only instead of a billiard pocket stavilt women lto rolls up a sphere in pi * @ at, that has the right to kiss to the lady ruku.
poruchik Rzhevskiy:
- And can them simply VYE;;T.
GUSARY:
-Will come Rzhev and all will vulgarize!!!

*****

Hussars have a good time with ladies. Both so, and so, all tried, everything bored. The lieutenant Rzhevsky comes, offers igru:
-Ladies become at one wall, the Lord at another. Who gets with running start, that kisses to the lady the handle.

*****

Hussars talk about music. Rzhevskiy:
-Was at me with one on a grand piano. Very slippery instrument.
govoryat about karambole.
rzh.: I Had
- with one on a billiard table. Very firm and holodnyy.
govoryat about the nature, about ptitsakh.
rzh.:
-I by the way about birdies, recently "bnutsya the priest from a belltower and did not even chiriknut.

*****

Hussars gathered and decided to talk about art. Dubrovsky and speaks:
-Misters, give about glass. There was I in Italy, such stained-glass windows there, is simply unique!
obolensky podkhvatil:
-Yes, misters, here at my place vase of the Venetian glass, such amazing work!
vkhodit poruchik:
-About what it you, children?
- Yes about art, about stekle.
-Ah, about glass, here I too, yesterday so надр#?ил, did not get into a 3-liter jar!

*****

Hussars at a table at restaurant order food and vipivku.
-to me, please, a shot glass konyaka.
-to me, please, portveyna.
-to me, please, cranberry ekstrakta.
poruchik Rzhev, in ж#пу drunk, getting out from under a table shouts ofitsiantu:
- And me, please, too peck in a sr@ka!

*****

Dama:
- The Lieutenant Rzhevsky, I do not doubt your potentiality therefore play please the following game of billiard - a cue.

*****

The lady asks at poruchika:
-Mister lieutenant is the truth, what in youth you were member of the court?
- Yes, in youth the member there, the member here. What's the odds...

*****

Two ladies talk about merits and demerits of tableware of Faberzhe.
prokhodyashchy by a proruchik Rzhev decides to be connected to razgovoru:
-my respect, mademoiselle! My respect, madam! By the way, about ware. Vy
znayete, at my striker х#й in a bucket is not located!

*****

Two charming grammar-school girls talk between soboy:
-Natasha, I beremenna.
-You know from whom?
- Yes, from the lieutenant of Rzhevskogo.
-As it treated it?
- As real hussar. He apologized.

*****

- Girl, postoyta! At you a case in a sort the hussar was not?
- Is not present, and what?
- Will be! May I introduce myself - the lieutenant Rzhevsky!

*****

The girl sends the announcement in marriage gazetu:
"I Look for the man, clever as Sherlock Holmes and beautiful as Other Watson. "
Bckope comes the answer: "I, of course, not such clever as Sherlock Holmes, so beautiful
NE as other Watson, but eb%s I, as dog of Baskervil!"

*****

The striker undresses the lieutenant Rzhevsky after the next booze and otchityvayet:
-Eh, the barin, chtozh you to yourself soiled all output uniform?
- Yes it not I, is Obolensky to me it in the carriage zablevat, I wanted to fill to it an ugly face and pozhalel.
-Eh and it was necessary, the barin, it to you also in trousers nasr@l.

*****

The striker asks Rzhevskogo:
-As you think that woman sucks?
-Soset.
-A that? As you learned
-Soset.
-A?
-Roth to eat, mean sucks.

*****

Diary korneta.
den 1: Arrived drank all moonshine, peree@at all bab.
den 2: Vy@bli all large and horned skot.
den 3: all @bat that moves, and that does not move moved and @bali.
den 4: There arrived the lieutenant Rzhevsky and all vulgarized.

*****

Natasha with the lieutenant Rzhevsky goes to a compartment. The lieutenant reads the newspaper, Natasha vainly tries to attract attention. At last it asks:
- The Lieutenant, tell and how the stone in your ring is called? Know
-, Natasha, simply there is no wish …

*****

The lieutenant Rzhevsky with Natasha Rostova in the carriage goes. Here the lieutenant hears very loud "BUNCH" and starts laughing loudly loudly. Natasha, with the most serious vidom:
-I see He anything ridiculous!
poruchik, at once having shut up, it is silent myamlit:
-Oh, excuse, I thought that it is a horse perdnut.

*****

The lieutenant Rzhevsky goes by the train, lies on the top shelf. Slyshi
vnizu the lady speaks:
- The Darling, remember, never put eggs on silver, ono
ot it tuskneet.
- The Century live a century study - the lieutenant Rzhevsky and perelozhil
svoy a cigarette case from a trouser pocket in a jacket thought.

*****

The lieutenant Rzhevsky goes by the train - lies on the top shelf. Hears, below the lady speaks:
- The Darling, remember, never put eggs on silver, it from it tuskneet.
- The Century live, a century study, - the lieutenant Rzhevsky told and shifted the silver cigarette case from a trouser pocket in a jacket.

*****

Goes Rzhev by the train on the top shelf, hears conversation of two ladies, daughters and mamy:
-Mother, and the truth that on light it to give birth to the most sick?
- the Truth dochenka.
- And anything is not present in general more painfully?
- Is not present dochenka.
tut Rzhev overhangs from the shelf and asks at mamy:
-Madam, and you never beat a frying pan on eggs?

*****

The lieutenant of Rzhevskiy
vyshel goes to the platform in an electric train to pokupit, was put matches is not present. Nearby there is a Batyushka
-Holy Father! you will have no matches?
batyushka rummaged in a cassock and got spichki.
rzhevsky lit, reflected and asks
-Skazhi the Father? why to you matches to you even to smoke a sin? That to it the Holy Father otvetil
-Zapas a pocket does not weigh
NA does not ask to eat drink, though Pop the conventual not e... et but hu. in Korman nosit
"the Cool baize" thought Rzhev "on a ball at Vyazma I will tell"
vecherom on a ball tonight Rzhevskomu
-Gospoda give the floor!!! today uslykhat a hokhmochka cool but as here Ladies I will replace obscene words with HO-Huo and Ha-Ha but sense remains to those-zhe
zapas the pocket does not weigh does not ask to eat drink though Pop not HUO HUO'S mnonashka - but H%y in a pocket About HUO HUO!

*****

Go in the carriage from Moscow to St. Petersburg of Natasha
rostova (NR), Pierre (P), the lieutenant the Rzhev (P).
(HP):- Oh, dear Pierre, I itself one more nogoy
chuvstvuyu in Moscow, and another already in St. Petersburg!
(P):- Dear Natasha, as if I wanted okazatsya
gde-nibud in the middle, for example, in Balagoye!
TUT prsypatsya dozing Rzhev and, yawning,
speaks:
-Oh, there was I there, the HOLE Pierre, a hole...

*****

The lieutenant Rzhevsky and Natasha of Rostova.
Natasha go on horses saw the hussars bathing naked and prosit
u the lieutenant the field-glass. Looking in the field-glass from a reverse side,
Natasha with astonishment vskrikivayet:
-Oh, what small!
poruchik (reddening):
- So water cold...

*****

Natasha Rostova, Pierre Bezoukhov and the lieutenant Rzhevsky go in one carriage from Moscow to St. Petersburg, the last thus sits on other sitting and pridramyvy hrapit.
-Oh, Pierre, you know, we go from Moscow to St. Petersburg, did not reach to St. Petersburg yet, and I feel one more foot in Moscow, another already in St. Petersburg! - delightfully Natasha Rostova.
bezukhov speaks, languidly smiling, priobnimy Natasha speaks:
-Dear Natasha, as if I wanted to appear somewhere in the middle, approximately in Bologoye...
B this moment wakes up Rzhevsky and, yawning, speaks:
-Eh, Pierre, happened I there, happened, the Hole-with, Pierre, the Hole-with...

*****

Natasha Rostova and the lieutenant Rzhevsky go by the train. The lieutenant reads gazetu.
Natasha, trying to draw attention of the lieutenant, bares that one leg, to
druguyu, the dress will lower a little. The lieutenant does not react. Here Natasha Zamechayet
na the lieutenant's finger persten.
- The Lieutenant, and what stone in yours perstne.
rzhevsky (having postponed the newspaper): Know
-, Natasha,
NOCH is simple not hochetsya.
5 *****. Knock at a door. Disturbing female golos:
-Who there?
- Lieutenant Rzhevsky, madam!
- will say scurrilous things Again and to stick to me?
- Of course! Wait for
-, I will find a key...

*****

Catherine II, having leaned on a handrail, looks from the bridge at the river, having bulged the zad.
- And!!! Who is it???
- Lieutenant Rzhevsky, Vashvelstvo! - clicks kablukami.
-Continue, the colonel!.

*****

The lieutenant Rzhevsky married Natasha Rostova somehow. Twins were born at them: boy and girl. Passes years five, young mummy with the daughter walks somehow, and suddenly see on a lawn horses tr@khatsya. The daughter asks:
-Mothers and what is horses do?
MAMA thought and otvetila:
-It is one horse climbed on another to look where the grass zelenet.
prokhodit some time, walks the sister with the brother, and see again horses in the same pose. The girl speaks bratu:
-I know that they do. This is one horse climbed on another to look where the grass zeleneet.
kak is necessary, the brother remembered everything. Again passes some time. Already the lieutenant Rzhevsky with the son walks and again will come across horses. The joyful son speaks ottsu:
-Fathers! And I know that it is horses do. This is one horse climbed on another to look, where travka
zelenet!!!
- of Tyu, and I always thought that when horses to an eb... sya, they do not see this world.

*****

Whether you reflected, expression "off the boat and into the party" from where went? I here ponyal.
delo was so: hussars sit, so, champagne whip, slowly p@zdit about something. The lieutenant Rzhevsky runs in and straight off throws: "SOON B%Ya ON the BALL". Simply on excite wrote down incorrectly

*****

The colonel of a porutchik forced boots to clean. That from offense went all out and tore them do
zerkalnogo states. Went to a ball and went nuts with happiness - will palm off a boot on the lady under a skirt, and v
sapoge all vidno.
-Madam, and you have drawers in peas. The woman in obmoroke.
-Mademoiselle, your cowards charmingly gleam spangles! unosyat.
Natasha decided to teach a good lesson one more Rzhev, took off pants and went with it for dance. Porutchik moved sebya
neozhidanno - will look, and in horror will turn away. Will look, again will shudder and otvorachivayetsya.
-Porutchik, you that, p;%dy did not see?! - does not maintain Natasha.
porutchik with oblegcheniyem:
-Faugh you! I thought a boot tore!