Jokes about Rzhevsky

Read funny Jokes about Rzhevsky

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Natasha and Rzhevsky after a mazourka took the air - will be aired. From a balcony the wonderful view of a pond opens. Natasha, as devushka
ne deprived of poetry, vosklitsayet:
- The Lieutenant! You look what wonderful look! What charming "Boldinskaya" fall! You by
khoteli to become a swan and to float on this unruffled surface of a pond, hardly concerning a krylama of the foliage touched by purple?
- Yes you that, Natali, охр#нели-с! Naked ж#пой-с - yes in cold water - with!

*****

Natasha Rzhevskogo prosit:
-Tell please any episode about that as you voyevali.
-Well there are I somehow after fight on the broken, burned village... I come means to one semi-broken house, and there the little girl of 12 years 2 weeks starves - speaks:
-I for a bread crumb will give everything. Rzhevskiy:
-you know I cried... eb@l also cried...

*****

Natasha of Rostova:
-Rzhev, from now on treat people as you would like that people belonged to vam.
Rzhevskiy:
-It that, Natashenka, me all х#й to suck now?

*****

Natasha Rostova left in a garden in the evening to collect a bouquet. Sees - in bushes the lieutenant of Rzhevskiy.
- The Lieutenant, what you small sits!
-Ya not small. I shit.

*****

Natasha Rostova speaks to the lieutenant of Rzhevskomu:
- The Lieutenant you promised me marries!!! You never know I on you promised
-.....

*****

Natasha Rostova does to the lieutenant Rzhevsky м#нет. Natasha:
- The Lieutenant, something at you ?л#н myagkiy.
poruchik:
-It not the member, I ср#.

*****

Natasha Rostova since the childhood dew was also brought up in institution for young ladies in France. In 17 years came it is time to come back it to Russia. She is met by the mammy. On the Russian border Natasha changes in horse crew with the Russian driver. The driver as it befits in such cases, beats a horse up to grain with exclamation "No-au-au-au!!!!" A horse from a place. THAT again beats and shouts "Went, the item. zda such!!!" The horse started. Mammy shocked by the heard. Natasha right there with voprosom:
-Mamenya, and that such the item. zda? Whether otvechayet:
-you know
TA, the daughter so in Russia at us tenderly to call horses...
Ha that also closed temu.
proshlo some time. First ball of Natasha. She dances with the lieutenant and decided to flash knowledge of the russkogo:
-tell, the lieutenant, and you have an item. zda?
TOT: - No...
ONA in reply: - whether and at me know is!!! All such red! In apples!! And when I scratch it, it does here so: FFRRRRRRR!!!!!

*****

Natasha Rostova thinks to the lieutenant zagadku:
- The Lieutenant, guess: what is - small, greyish, v
polovuyu a chink - vzhik!!! The lieutenant mnetsya:
-Natasha, but same it is indecent, hm...
- Lieutenant and that you, same mouse! The lieutenant with astonishment snima-
T pensne:
- The Mouse??? In a pizda??? Originally!

*****

Natasha Rostova acquaints the lieutenant Rzhevsky with gostyami:
-Pierre Bezukhov.
-Is glad!
- the Princess of Marya.
-Is happy!
- Prince of Bolkonskiy.
-Prince!
-of the Columns Tolstoy.
-Go on h@y, the count, you not from this movie!

*****

Whether Natasha Rostova is interested in apteke:
- There are at you tablets against pregnancy from the lieutenant Rzhevsky?
-from Rzhevsky? Yes, the others do not help
-! We Can offer
- only scissors!

*****

Natasha Rostova is interested at the lieutenant of Rzhevskogo:
- The Lieutenant, you represent how it to be to pregnant women? Perfectly I present to
-, Natasha! Once, during saber attack moy
kon incurred, stumbled, crushed me under itself and terminated with fear to me v
zadnitsu. Full feeling of pregnancy!

*****

Natasha Rostova swims in the sea. Suddenly from depth the shark comes up and floats to Natasha. Squeal,
kriki, Natasha desperately threshes hands on water... The lieutenant Rzhevsky plunges into the water, stremitelno
plyvet across to a shark, snatches out a dirk and pins up the toothy big fish. Swims up to Natasha,
chtoby to help her, and slyshit:
-Fi, the lieutenant, fish - a knife!

*****

Natasha Rostova:
-Maman! Porutchik Rzhevsky knows trite pesni
-He that sang them at you?
- Is not present, whistled...

*****

Natasha Rostova cannot fall asleep, tormented by desire. Pierre Bezukhov
razmyshlyaet about meaning of life. Natasha does not maintain, jumps i
byet on hours, those cease idti.
-That you do, Natasha? - with astonishment asks Pyer.
-I Want that in this room there was though one thing!

*****

Natasha Rostova celebrated birthday and invited the hussar. The sick colonel could not come and asked the lieutenant Rzhevsky to look after hussars that those decently behaved. Sat down at a table, eat, hussars smile to ladies, all are happy. Natasha Rostova begins secular besedu:
-Imagine - bought 18 candles for birthday, and on a festive pie got only 17! I will not apply mind - where to thrust one more?
gusary only opened mouths as the lieutenant Rzhevsky and krichit:
-Misters jumps! Words about a pi%da!!!

*****

Natasha Rostova and the lieutenant Rzhevsky ride on loshadyakh.
vdrug Natasha broke wind, and the lieutenant starts laughing loudly wildly! Natasha crasneia:
- The Lieutenant, it simply not decently, so to laugh over me!
- Oh, Natasha, excuse, I thought it a horse of a pyornul!

*****

Natasha Rostova and the lieutenant Rzhevsky walk upstairs at night to Natasha to the room. Tsok-tsok.
- The Lieutenant-with, but you could not take off boots - with? We can be heard! - Natasha.
-treated to Rzhevsky Kindly, darling - responded tot.
podnimayutsya... and again: tsok-tsok.
- The Lieutenant-with, I asked to remove you sapogi-S.
-Natasha, it not boots are nails - with!

*****

Natasha Rostova and the lieutenant of Rzhevskiy:
- The Lieutenant, guess a juicy riddle. About what the black eggs beat?
- About a saddle!
- of Fi! What platitude!
-A about what?
-O frying pan...
- Is very juicy - a frying pan on eggs!

*****

Natasha Rostova and the lieutenant Rzhevsky went to theater. After the first office he wanted to write, carefully got out of a loggia and went to look for a toilet. Long wandered searching, at last, found some fake monument surrounded with artificial flowers and celebrated need near it. Whether then returned to a loggia to Natasha and sprosil:
-Much I passed from the second office?
- Passed? You played in it a leading role!

*****

Natasha Rostova Tell the lieutenant of Rzhevskomu:
-, the lieutenant, whether there was at you a big and light love?
- Of course - was the tradeswoman from me growth, the blonde of six poods!

*****

Natasha Rostova accepts the lieutenant Rzhevsky. The lieutenant constantly drops devices, loudly champs, spilled sauce. Natasha:
-Yes, the lieutenant, appears, you are not really skillful for stolom.
-You see the mademoiselle, the table is not my furniture.

*****

Natasha Rostova talks to the Lieutenant Rzhevsky about voyne:
-Oh, war, war. Cold, golod.
-Yes. Here at us one hussar in the village stole from the old woman of egg, so it for it hung up!
- For what? Really for eggs?
- Well - for a neck.

*****

Natasha of Rostova:
-Rzhev, from now on treat people as you would like that people treated you...
Rzhevskiy:
-It that, Natashenka, me now all х#й to suck?

*****

Natasha Rostova gives birth to the next child. The old hussars who gathered round her argue - whose it rebenok.
-If shouts when is born, mine means, - told known for the scandalousness of Dubrovskiy.
-If is fixed at once, mine means, - told trusovaty Obolenskiy.
-If starts beating handles and legs, mine means, - is proud said the squabbler of Merzavtsev.
-Well, and mine you and so learn - told Rzhevskiy.
i here the long-awaited moment came. The head of the child seemed on light. "Aby-woman-@", - was heard from lips of the baby...

*****

Natasha Rostova romantically asks:
- The Lieutenant, you remember the first teacher? I had
poruchik:
-of the First the nurse.

*****

Natasha Rostova romatichno asks a porutchik of Rzhevskogo:
-Porutchik, you remember a tsva the first teacher?
- the First teacher at me was the nurse...

*****

Natasha Rostova asks the lieutenant of Rzhevskogo:
-Tell, the lieutenant, you do a pedicure?
-A it as?
- Scissors...
- K-as??

*****

Natasha Rostova asks the lieutenant of Rzhevskogo:
-As your service?
- Full ass!
-of Foo as it is so possible to talk to the lady, the lieutenant!
- Ah, excuse the mademoiselle, it was forgotten. I wanted to tell - it such zhe
khudaya, as your buttocks!

*****

Natasha Rostova would ask the lieutenant of Rzhevskogo:
-you could battle for the sake of me to Mike Tyson hand to hand?
- Well, dismiss - with! Let Pierre Bezoukhov with it srazhayetsya.
-But why, the lieutenant?
-A to it could not be lost.

*****

Natasha Rostova asks Rzhevskogo:
- The Lieutenant, you sometime loved?
-Trakhalsya-S.
-Ah, the lieutenant, I speak about high lyubvi.
-On a balcony - with trakhalsya.
- The Lieutenant, I speak about pure lyubvi.
-After a bath - with trakhalsya.
- The Lieutenant, I speak about love for all zhizn.
-for me only syphilis was not enough - page.

*****

Natasha Rostova dances on a ball with the lieutenant of Rzhevskim.
-Natasha, I want sr@t.
-h*ya, tantsuyem.
-Natasha, I WANT sr@t!
- h*ya tantsuyem.
-Natasha, I WANT SR @@@ T!!!
- h*ya, tantsuyem.
through some time.
- Lieutenant and you obosr@lis!!!
- h*ya, we dance!

*****

Natasha Rostova dances on a ball with the Lieutenant of Rzhevskim.
-Oh, me badly, I will go to a window, - Natasha speaks,
- Well go break but that not long, - the Lieutenant Rzhevsky answers.

*****

Natasha Rostova dances on a ball with the Lieutenant of Rzhevskim.
- The Lieutenant, you loved sometime? Ebalsya-page
- Natasha faints. The lieutenant picks up ee
na to summer and uspokaivayet:
-Excuse - with, madam - with, h@ynyu-with talked nonsense - with …

*****

Natasha Rostova dances on a ball with the Lieutenant Rzhevsky. Poruchik
prizhimayet it to stene.
-Oh, the Lieutenant, you want me to crucify?
- Well, time shest.
-That you mean? That I have
-, I will enter.

*****

Natasha Rostova dances with Pierre Bezukhovym:
-Ah, Pierre … You are not so clever as Sherlock Holmes, and are not so kind as the doctor of Vatson.
opozorenny Pierre leaves a ball, goes to the estate and never is shown in obshchestve.
a any more Natasha dances with Bolkonsky and too speaks emu:
-Ah, you are not so clever as Sherlock Holmes and are not so kind as the doctor of Vatson.
bolkonsky did not expect such words from Natasha, his self-esteem was wounded, he went to the distant room and was shot … Natasha continues to dance
A, this time with the lieutenant of Rzhevskim.
- The Lieutenant! You are not so clever at all as Sherlock Holmes and are far not so kind as doctor Watson!
- Ha! But I e%us as The Hound of the Baskervilles!

*****

Natasha Rostova leaves from Moscow to St. Petersburg, says goodbye to misters officers. Those are distressed that it to the uyezzhayeena, and it them uspokaivayet:
-Misters, I not for a long time! One foot here, another there...
- Well... I would like to appear Bology somewhere, - speaks as always tactful kornet.
rzhevsky, pomorshchivshis:
-That you, a cornet! I happened there. The most terrible hole …

*****

Natasha Rostova reads to the lieutenant of Rzhevskomu:
- The Cavernous body, a rusty bolt, the grooving tool, snakes tempter,
mezhdu of feet dangles, a muscle of a scallop... Lieutenant, what eto
takoye?
poruchik:
-h@ynya all this, Natasha, I to you and not such pokazhu.
Natasha (zardevshis):
-Ya and thought. (Pensively): But muscle of a scallop...!!!

*****

- Natasha, you again today without shorts? As you learned
-, the Lieutenant?
- On dandruff on slippers …

*****

Natasha asks Rzhevskogo:
- The Lieutenant, you sometime loved?
-Trakhalsya.
-Well, I speak about high lyubvi.
-On a balcony trakhalsya.
-Well, I speak about pure lyubvi.
-In a bath trakhalsya.
- The Lieutenant, I speak about love for the rest of life!
- Is not present, I thank - page. Only syphilis was also not enough for me - with...