Jokes about peoples

Read funny Jokes about Chinese

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In a happy Chukchi family there was the sixth child. The father fills metriku:
- The father's Nationality rebenka.
-with Chukcha.
-mother's Nationality mather.
- The Nationality rebenka.
-Kitayets.
-It as so?
-Chukchi clever! He in the book read that on the earth every sixth - kitayets.
the Joke about sense zhizni:
kazhdy the Chinese for the life is obliged to make
three things - sneakers, jeans and phone.

*****

For pest control the Ministry of Agriculture of China declared,
chto for each handed-over locust will be given out 1 yuan.
teper all peasants breed a locust.

*****

Our lecturer, to Russia, in deep bewilderment came back home. Became druzey
rassprashivat, friends supposedly help who knows Chinese. Found taki.
objyasnil a situation. Friend: "Well question your absolutely simple. Two times on
said 'Fray', and the last means 'terminated to fray'"...

*****

The Chinese from Russia, well and as usual comes back, having accepted rice vodka under the confidential name to Saca, rasskazyvayet:
- At the Russian money, well to more vigorously hair dryer! Where they them take
-A?
-Yes, kuyut.
-As it, forge?
-Yes as, as... Well my owner to the wife here comes and speaks: "Mash, and Mash, well give a three, and?" And it to it: "Go
nakuy!"

*****

Meet the Chinese and kazakh.
kitayets:
- And how many at you to the people?
KAZAKH:
-Well, Kazakhs seven million, and all in Kazakhstan - chetyrnadtsat.
kitayets:
-Is necessary, you, probably, each other know all by sight!

*****

Yesterday the American patrol boat lined kitayskaya
podvodnaya the boat. Seven people of crew and three thousand oarsmen were lost.

*****

Yesterday on border with Korea the Air Force strategic bomber of China was wrecked. All crew - the pilot and the fireman's
tri was lost.

*****

Yesterday start of the first Chinese iskusstvennogo
sputnika Earth was carried out. At start three thousand people suffered. They poluchili
gryzhu during a tension of a huge slingshot.

*****

Yesterday there was a shocking case - our tractor which is peacefully working in the field was fired by unknown from
storony of the Chinese border. In response to what the tractor suppressed fire two rocket volleys and departed at small height.
HASHE the government warns: if similar cases repeat, seeders, winnowers and
senokosilki with vertical take-off will be brought to fields!

*****

Yesterday in territorial waters of the USSR it was noticed Chinese underwater lodka.
prinyaty measures - oars are selected.

*****

There is to the Chinese border the Russian athlete and krichit:
-Hey, hundred thousand Chinese, let's go for a hill to fight...
kitaytsy gathered and went... In couple of days because of a hill there is an athlete and krichit:
-Hey, hundred thousand Chinese, let's go for a hill to fight...
kitaytsy gathered................... In couple of days there is slightly beaten athlete and krichit:
-Hey, hundred thousand Chinese, let's go for a hill to fight...
sobralis Chinese... Suddenly because of a hill the remaining Chinese creeps out and with the last bit of strength glagolit:
-do not go - them two there!

*****

Voice from radio:
- Attention! Yesterday in China the new spaceship is started. Health of one pilot both 128 firemen otlichnoye.
- And one more news: In the northern province of China the new power plant is put into operation. Forty Chinese in
shelkovykh shorts ride on an ebonite gorochka.

*****

For start of the satellite five hundred million Chinese formed a live pyramid in one thousand floors. At the last minute
piramida collapsed since one on the three hundred seventeenth floor badly acquired Mao's quotation collection.

*****

For start of the satellite five hundred million Chinese formed a live pyramid v
tysyachu floors. At the last minute the pyramid collapsed since one on trista
semnadtsatom a floor badly acquired Mao's quotation collection.

*****

- Dear children! Today in the Red, Yellow, Green program I will tell how the Indian and the Chinese found
ytoplennika...

*****

Smother fine rushes - A.S. Pushkin not to take the Drop in a mouth - an inscription on eye drops. The main thing children heart not of
staret - Faust. The last honors is always paid with delay. Without women it is impossible to live on light is not present - Robinson Crusoe.
terpeniye and work will grind everything - Sisyphus. Nada tarapisya it is not necessary, move it is necessary. (Chinese saying).
zavtra, than is better to work today! (slogan) If you expect a baby to you it is necessary to take care that on a table was sweet.
(doctor's advice).

*****

The man drives the car. Also the GAI officer stops it. "You, - speak, - turned not there, give a penalty..." -"?! I already
kilometrov five go without turning anywhere!" "Well exceeded speed... Or did not fasten belts... To me, well,
skuchno, here a shtrafana - will be more cheerful than you. You will be able to amuse me on another - I will release without penalty"
muzhik Thought, thought... You Know
-how in China fight against birth rate?
-Well, well!
-Gather men crowd, strip naked them and lay all in big such hall on the floor, and on a ceiling a
kino-porno twist. And then the man such with a braid passes across the hall... The GAI officer, naturally to neigh. The man, not
buduchi the fool, includes speed and slowly rolls. In a minute the same GAI officer catches up with it and
ostanovitsya.
-A orders that with _nimi_ farther do? Here the man not sderzhalsya:
-Which it is more - to you go on staffs and which it is less - on whistles!

*****

I go to giving on the Mercedes, and in a pocket one and a half thousand dollars, it is a quarter of my day salary,
NA which me two black prostitutes, and in general contain, I am the dirty gay, two dirty
prostitutki support me, I am the member of the Chinese Communist Party and the agent of KGB in the colonel's rank.

*****

- Your wife is very thin during the holidays. How is it managed?
- She sat on the Chinese diet: eating chicken broth chopsticks.

*****

Wives of the Soviet dignitaries brag of the muzhyami:
-mine - the deputy chief director over deputies! My
-A goes every year to the abroad. It serves as the Chinese in Komintern.

*****

Climbed under the car (that nobody saw) the Chinese with the Japanese, - communication language Russian, - well and started being engaged...
EE... for the sake of what climbed. Are audible vozglasy:
-to You kalyaso [well] - me kalyaso!
-to You kalyaso - me kalyaso! Here the owner of the car pribegayet:
-Aaa, got! Yesterday the engine was filched, and today divide wheels!

*****

Started the Vietnamese in space as a part of our crew (possibly Fam Vam of Dong, was such, but in my opinion -
kitayets...) .
through some time "Earth" notices that at the Vietnamese of a hand are rolled up by bandage, and from under bandage blue
paltsy stick out. Essno question: "What happened?!!" Ours answer that everything is all right. Called up the Vietnamese, a pier that such?!!
"do not climb There, do not touch it!. "
(Here it is necessary to show as on hands knock that did not climb where do not ask)...

*****

The American, the Frenchman, the Russian, the Chinese and the Jew come into restaurant, all order on a glass with chayem.
restoran not really good, to all bring tea, and in each glass mukha.
amerikanets: splashes out tea in a face ofitsiantu
frantsuz: politely asks to replace chay
russky: throws out mukhu
kitayets: eats mukhu
evrey: suggests the Chinese to buy from it a fly

*****

- Why did the Soviet delegation traveled to Finland?
- borrowed from the Finnish experience, fighting off the great eastern neighbor.

*****

- Came into restaurant, and there all eat with sticks!
-So it, probably, Chinese were?
-Ya too at first so thought, and then looked narrowly - skiers.

*****

There is a lesson, the teacher sets house zadaniye:
-Sidorov! You will tell who lives in Yaponii.
-Petrov! You will tell who lives in Kitaye.
- And you are Vovochka, will tell who lives in Syria. Next day the teacher conducts opros:
-Sidorov who lives in Japan?!
-Yapontsy.
-Petrov and who lives in China?
-Tyu-yu! Chinese!
-Ta-ak... well Vovochka, learned?! Da's
-! Dwarfs!-?! I asked
-A mother "Who lives in Syria", and she answered: "To me to a pizda!" I measured - 70 cm.

*****

From the statement Soviet ppavitelstva:
vchepa in the area of the Amur River the Chinese party fired the Soviet tractor which is peacefully plowing the earth. In reply the
sdelal tractor three rocket volleys also departed. The chairman of state farm major general Ivanov warns that in case of
povtopeniya of similar incidents in the field there will be seeders, winnowers, threshers and the combine with vertical take-off.

*****

- From what it is possible to conclude, what Earth round?
-All slops which we pour on the West, flow on us from the East.

*****

From headline news of the 2000th year: "On the Chinese-Finnish border everything is quiet".

*****

- What most hockey country in the world?
-Canada?
-NET.
-of the USA?
-NET.
-Really Russia?!
-Well! China! There two hundred forty million hockey players! They have no truth of skates...

*****

- What are the relations between the USSR and the USA?
- peaceful coexistence of states with different social and political sistemami.
- What are the relations between the USSR and China?
- Hostile coexistence of states with similar political systems.

*****

- How important is for you to the Soviet Union? - Asked polyaka.
- This buffer state between Poland and China.

*****

Carter and Gromyko leave from opposite the located doors and go the friend to drugu.
- At last we completely disarmed! - tells Karter.
-Yes, now we quite can trust each other! - Gromyko.
-Well, stop talking, march back in chambers answers! - the Chinese supervisor speaks.

*****

The Chinese tells how at them fight with detorozhdeniyem.
- There is a turn, take two bricks, and Bach them on eggs. Also I shout: "Following?" - Listen, but it is not sick?
-Well why when on a finger I get - painfully.

*****

The Chinese maid in hotel addresses to Soviet spetsialistu:
-Tovalists budets of pizzas Cai or "nuyegonakh@y" inzenet?

*****

The Chinese anti-tank platoon numbering 3000 people consists of 3 offices on 1000 people of
zadacha of office - to take the opponent's tank to pieces until it shot.

*****

The Chinese dead man Ut Kean was buried with music and an orchestra. Having found the last excessive, the chorus was dug out.

*****

The Chinese government decided not to paste the photo in pasport.
-any more Why?
-A what for?

*****

When there comes the world hunger? When Chinese start eating
-with forks.