Jokes about politicians

Read funny Jokes about elections

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In the morning on December 5 all country asked each other: "Who voted for the party which won with a huge separation?"

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Falsification took place normalno.
golosovany during violations is not noticed.

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French Courchevel ski resort. Knock at a door. Prokhorov:
-Who there?
-Politsiya.
prokhorov:
-We did not call the police. We called girls, potrakhatsya.
-We were called by yours sosedi.
prokhorov:
-Well to them and go, let them bang you.

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- Holmes how you guessed, what party will win elections in Russia?
- Again scoff, Watson.

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Good joke and the end correct - vote or not, and everything is solved.

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It is good that elections secret - Medvedev thought, and voted for the CPRF, partly because of unclear offense, and, above all because of inexplicably woken up conscience.

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- I want to track history of the family, but I do not know, kak.
-Try to take part in elections.

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Chronicle of incidents. Yesterday at the fire the head of the CEC Vladimir Churov poluchil
146 a % burn of a body.

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The Central Electoral Commission declared that it will not allow the population to rig results elections.

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The Central Electoral Commission ordered to gas stations to clean urgently these devil's columns with petrol prices as propaganda in the election day against the candidate is forbidden!

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The Russian Central Election Commission sharply condemned system of counting of votes on elections in Ukraine. It what the hell! Elections already tomorrow, and the winner is still unknown!

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The Central Electoral Commission reports that at presidential elections of 2012 for simplification of counting of votes will be established two urny.
odna - for Vovan, another - the exterminator of papers.

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The CEC left, clowns remained...

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- Than you explain the failure on the last elections?
-Ya fell a victim...
- Victim of that?!
- of Honest calculation, their mother!!!

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Chechnya. On December 2, 2007 goda.
yavka on elections of 99%.
okazalos that all voted at the exit from a site razreshali
kupit three horns. to the Galosh.

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Heels itch - vote serdtsem.
progolosoval heart - scratch pumpkin!

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What the general between Vladimir Churov and the ordinary school student? - And that,
I another solve the problem set by it, being verified with the correct answer.

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That the general between elections and game in naperstok:
-organizers look as decent LYUDI;
-organizers promise that everything will be chestno;
-organizers promise easy vyigrysh;
-rules very much prost;y
-participation borrows a little vremeni;
-for participation call nenavyazchivo;
-participation easily and priyatno;
-not participating watch at participants as on idiotov;
-participation absolutely voluntary, but the right for participation is necessary podtverdit;
- The equipment is very simply and surely checked on pustotu;
-everything goes vtemnuyu;
-appears pobeditel;
- At the end the state stands apart and pretends that has nothing in common with organizers;
-we do not know those who really costs for organizers;
-as play - all the same as a result proigryvayesh;
-to grab hand the dishonest organizer dangerously for zdorovya;
- At the end everything understand that them deceived, but do not know KAK;
-having lost once, next time we go to play again.

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What is the election campaign of Yushchenko?
ETO the most expensive advertizing campaign of "Zaviraks"!

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Churov calls Putinu:
-Vladimir Vladimirovich, I congratulate! You won the first round, with big overweight! The CEC already approved results and made the official statement before journalists!
- Idiot! It was necessary to forge only results, but not date! To elections even the whole month!!!

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Churov declared the second round. Putin did not gather a half from 146%.

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Churov Putinu:
-For you two news: good and plokhaya.
-Begin with horoshey.
-you won!
-A bad?
- nobody voted For you!

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Sew somehow together in Krasnokamensk mittens Putin and Khodorkovsky...
- Yes you that, Vova, cry that? Late to drink Borjomi... I spoke to you - take me in successors... Did not obey!

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These elections - as New Year. Everyone knew that the miracle will not be, but in soul all hope …

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It is good that at Vladimir Vladimirovicha of the daughter. And there would be a son, would already study monarchy bases at school, substantiated, so to speak...

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Yulia Tymoshenko promised in case of a victory on elections still up to the end etogo
goda to return deposits of Sberbank of the USSR, to cancel conscription service in army i
vse taxes! And what you are ready to promise to come to the power???

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Yulia Tymoshenko called supporters of the Ukrainian opposition blokirovat
pravitelstvennye buildings, the railroads, the airports and highways
A in peak to Yanukovych should break fences, to beat windows, to overturn urny
s garbage, to perdet in crowd, to shit in gates and to ssat in podjezdakh.
togda the democracy precisely will win.

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Yushchenko was really poisoned and quickly died. But why was ego
khoronit on the Cemetery of Pets?

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- I after all 10 years the Kazakh language uchila.
-About! And as will be on Kazakh: "I demand free, fair elections and resignation of the president Nazarbayev!"?
- Well, approximately: "Maine namysta erikti to a sayla to the wife of Prezidenttin Naz

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- I very much like to joke. Here so we will gather with colleagues at one table and we joke, we joke … where you work with
-A?
- the Deputy in the Duma …

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- I want to track history of the family, but I do not know how for it vzyatsya.
-Try to propose the candidature on elections.

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I generated you, I also will replace you - Putin's elections in presidents will be held under such motto in 2012.

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Yavlinsky, waking up in the morning, razdrazhenno:
-Well, here! Again I have to come back to this cruel, unfair world where I did not become a president!

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- Hallo! Smolny! Smolny! Hallo! Hallo! This is Lenin? Felix Edmundovich on provode.
-Why you climbed there?

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Hallo! Smolny! Smolny! Hallo! Hallo! This is Lenin? Feliks
edmundovich on provode.
- And why you climbed there?

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The Bakovsky plant of rubber products producing condoms,
vypustil to anniversary inflatable byustik of Lenin - "Lenin in you", and Krupskaya -
"Put on".

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The low little man in a cap comes into wine shop and, slightly burring, three hundred grams address to prodavshchitse:
-to me port, please...
- We in flood not prodayem.
- And me not in Flood, and in Shushenskoye.

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In 1920 the worker received "award" for good work - Lenin and Trotsky's
portrety. Comes to a naked empty room with tyufyakom
na to a floor and one nail in a wall and reflects: "To hang up Lenin, and Trotskogo
postavit to a wall, or it is better to hang up Trotsky, and to a wall - Lenina?"

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- In idea of communism initially there was a mistake!
- Of course! Remember that song: "Our engine flies forward, in a commune a stop"?
-A mistake what?
- As what? Engines do not fly!